apply it and change

July 25, 2009

I attended a 3-days G12 conference (07/23-07/25,’09). Oh men, it’s like I attended an encounter over and over again. I paid only 300 pesos. But I think that would not be enough to pay the things that the Lord showed me during those 3 days. I’m not sure how many plenaries we had. Well, if there were 20 plenaries, I cried 19 times, hehe. For all you know, pinoy pastors who shared there were really anointed by God. You can feel the presence of God in their lives, they are really a living testimony. In the plenaries, oh men, it was so unexplainable, as if the Lord was talking to me directly. My eyes were really opened wide. (Oh yeah, I got 2 big eyes, but it still grew bigger, hehe). I listened tentatively. I took down notes. (I wish I took my steno subject in high school seriously so that I could use it, hehe) Because everything the pastors had said were all very important. I can’t afford to blink an eye, to put down my pen, or to talk to my mom right next to me because the Words were really like a 2-edged sword that’s penetrating thru my heart, my bones, and my veins. Oh well, the pastors kept on saying these words “you’re not here to learn, but to change.” Of course, it struck my heart. What’s the purpose of that kind of conferences or trainings to me if I won’t change? I won’t elaborate all here what’s the Lord had said to me. I just can’t contain it here. But I’ll just site some: About the ark, which represents the very presence of God in my life; the vision; living in the cross, and giving back the throne in my heart to the Lord; being fruitful; loving God; loving His people; conquering spirit; the power of my words; that I’m from Joshua generation. I’ve recommitted my life to Him, in all His ways.

Okay, I know you do not understand what I am saying here. But the bottom line here is this: I have received so much from the Lord during those 3 days, incomparable and priceless corrections and wisdom. And the most important thing here is..APPLICATION! To see the change in me.
Okay, I always feel that way. That every time I am attending a seminar or conference, it feels like I’m recharging. It’s like I’m loading my armalite and shoot afterwards. And then, I know right after those kinds of conferences, somebody or something will attack me to test everything I’ve received from the Lord. It’s not necessarily the devil, but of course he’s watching. It’s sometimes, myself!

So here’s what happened: TEST NO. 1: right after the conference, just a couple of minutes had passed. My mom and I rode a taxi. We were so overwhelmed about what the Lord had done to us. We were not talking to each other, I don’t know why we were not having chats. Maybe we’re still in the presence of the Lord that time. And then we’re about to go to Pasig, our church, because we’ll be having our youth net. I’m so excited this time. I just can’t shake the fire burning deep inside my heart (it’s a song, hehe) I want to share the faya (fire, hehe) within me to my disciples. And then we drove along Edsa, my mom said we should go thru Santolan to shorten the travelling time. Okay, I looked to the fare meter, still fine. A little bit of traffic. When we reached the highway going to Libis, there was a heavy traffic. So in short, the driver changed the route, we were confident that he knew the way. But sad to say, he really didn’t know the way. The fare meter started to drop faster. I will pay twice the price I’ve paid last night; it’s just all because of the driver’s fault. It’s as if he toured us in Marikina, Santolan, and around the world. My hot temper tried to entice me. I wanted to react negatively. But oops! Here’s the Spirit reminded me the things I’ve received in the seminar earlier. So I just turned my music on and listened to “filled with joy”. So I thought I passed the first test. And then, here’s my mom. She started to make sort-of-ugly-faces. She started to whisper something that’s negative about the driver. Her eyebrows started to rise. And that face of my mom, if you know her, you’ll understand me, hehe. That face, started to tickle my temper. I wanted to react negatively. But oops! Here comes the Spirit to the rescue again. Gladly, I didn’t react ^^ So we reached our destination paying twice the price last night with a smile ^^ I passed the first test. Yes!

TEST NO.2: and after our joyride, hehe. I’m about to fetch my cell members somewhere in Pasig also. I kept on texting my disciples, where are they that moment. Are they already prepared? etc. etc. No one’s replying. Not a single a b c. So I have no idea where are they that time. Isn’t that great? (Sarcastic tone) After a while, one of them replied. I’m excited to open my inbox. She said “ate ayi, can’t come because tooooot…I won’t say the reason for her own safety, hehe. It’s me who’s the Lord is dealing with anyway. My heart walked in the edge of breaking and being patient. I inhaled, exhaled. I remembered the word “love” I heard earlier in the conference. ^^ So I replied to her with so much love. ^^ and I convinced her to attend. So I passed the 2nd test. ^^

TEST NO. 3: and then, as I reached to the place where I’ll fetch my cell members, they’re not still prepared! They’re not yet dressed, etc. etc, to think that our youth net is about to start. Oh my! my flesh is whispering “ayi, sampulan mo na cla, wahaha!” but the Spirit of the Lord still prevailed ^^ The Lord said to me as the dust and the pollution slammed to my sweaty face (the sun was so hot that time, nakikisama ba, hehe) “Ayi, don’t let those simple things quench the fire, kakatapos lang ng conference, inaabangan ka ng mga masasamang elemento kung pano ka magrereact sa mga makikita at maririnig mo, if you’re really decided to change and apply what you have received from Me” And in that moment, I said “okay Lord, get it” My cell members came late, but I still greeted them with a smile ^^ I passed the 3rd test. Yes!

You know what? I can’t afford to miss those kind of conferences because it’s an opportunity, an open door for me to change. And yes, I have decided to change. I don’t want to be foolish in the eyes of the Lord. I don’t want to be just hearer or listener of the Word but to be a doer. It’s just a matter of entrusting the throne of my heart to the One who really owns it, and crucify my flesh at the cross. ^^ If I change, everything changes. Apply it! Apply it! Apply it! And change! ^^