heart to heart

January 20, 2007

He said, you mean the whole world to him. Everything’s fine. He promised you that he’ll love you and be with you FOREVER. And then suddenly everything has changed. Uh-oh. He’s getting far from you bit by bit. Tsk, tsk. And then he’ll finally say to you, ”I think we’re not really for each other, maybe you’ll find someone who’s better than me. I think we should stop this relationship because I’m only hurting you. It’s over. I’m sorry. Goodbye.” Oh-no. And then tears start to fall from your eyes. You’ll cry as if the world weighs on your shoulders. Woohoo! What a breaking moment.

Not quite forever, as he promised.

No one would wanna experience that kind of thing. So I said to myself, it won’t happen to me. But it did (quite long time ago, hehe) I couldn’t explain what I really felt when my heart was broken. All I know is it was very sad, regretful.
But I’m still grateful. I realized that it was all part of God’s plan for me. To shape me. To strengthen me. To mold me. To show me many things. To teach me something. To get closer to Him. To let me know that God really loves me.
God taught me to entrust my whole life to Him. Even my love life. He showed me that if I follow my will, I will just end up crying. But if I obey His will, everything’s gonna be alright. The Lord knows best. If He were to put 10 men in front of me, and allow me to choose among them, I honestly don’t know whom to choose. I’ll let Him because He knows the perfect man for my life.

But for now it’s still a long journey for me. The Lord wants me to be fruitful first to my responsibilities. Ministry. Family. Work. And to get closer to the Lord of course.

I picture myself day by day, doing my responsibilities. Step by step. I’m getting closer to God. And then when I’m already prepared. He’ll unhide the perfect man from His back and say”he is the one Hannah I have created just for you.”