Dear Lord,
My 23rd year of my life has been so wonderful in many ways! It’s because of Your love for me. I can’t thank You enough for all the amazing things You’ve shown me.
In my career, You did not allow me to resign and leave my work because there was a purpose. I had a great relationship with my oh-so-nice boss and officemates. I was able to use and maximize my medical benefit of my company during my appendix surgery. Thanks also for not letting my appendix explode and ruin my stomach! You are truly incredible Lord! In those circumstances, You are beyond doubt my Healer and my Provider. ^^
In my ministry, You took me to a higher level of my service. You allowed me to attend overwhelming G12 conferences that really caught my heart on fire. You pushed me to be more responsible and accountable to my cell members and disciples. You have stretched my faith during youth net celebration and during our church anniversary, and You never failed me. You have given me the passion and the opportunity to share Your word to my officemates. (Which I have to continue right now) You have anointed me more in my service for worship leading. (Oh well, I’m not still sure of my voice if it got better, hehe) Thank You for all the added disciples, and I pray they will all last. All the praises and glory belongs only to You.
In my family, You made me to be more supportive to my Mom. You made me miss my Dad. But it’s fine, You’re my Comforter. You have been faithful to my Kuya Aris’ family. You have gifted Kuya Jonas a baby girl. You allowed Kuya Macoy to get marry soon. You have blessed us so much. You made us love each other even more. Thank You because we are all serving You with all our hearts. The promise You have given to my Daddy, (But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord) it all came to pass.
In myself, You have blessed me with loyal and lovable friends. You made me chubbier, hehe. You shook off everything that was hindering me to move forward. You made me closer to You. And that was the most important thing happened in my 23rd year of my life. That was the greatest among everything. My relationship with You got deeper and stronger. Never been this close to You before. And I’m so much glad with that. You woke me up every morning to commune with You. You never allowed me to sleep without spending time with You. You made me consistent in my devotional time. You taught me so many things. You have dealt a lot of fleshy attitudes. Some were just fine; some were learned the hard way. And yet I’m so grateful with that. You showed me much of your perfect plans in my life. You have made me love you even more. You made me realized that it’s all about You. = )
Lord, I can’t write here everything that You have done. I just can’t thank You enough for all the provisions You allowed me to experience. Thanks and I love You Lord. That’s all I can say. = )
And now, as I enter my 24th year, I will just entrust to You everything and my whole being. I just want to get even closer to You, closer to Your heart. My only prayer is that, I may walk following Your will and instructions in my life. I just want to know You more. I just want to be more sensitive. I just want to be filled with Your Word. I just want to please You. I need Your help and Your power to do these things.
I don’t know what’s in store for me in the coming year, but would You take full control over it? You knew me well. You are the author and finisher of my life. If my relationship with You is right and firm, everything will follow, my career, my ministry and my family will be just right!
I’m excited to what are you going to show me this coming year. May it be more fruitful and more colorful! I love You Lord. Thanks for everything.
Your girl,
Ayi / Hannah
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
sweetest zillion dollar smile
September 21, 2009
Everything was only a dream, but it’s playing on my mind over and over again.
I dreamt of this few weeks ago, and I’m remembering it most of the time. It was somewhat “horror” at the beginning, hehe. But it had an amazing twist in the end.
This is how the story goes:
I was sitting on a room then suddenly a “normal” man from nowhere entered and started singing. I felt no harm, because it was just normal, he looked ordinary, nothing to be anxious about. Then the man started to change his feature and his voice altered. I couldn’t remember, but I knew in my dream that he was from the enemy, from the devil. But of course I started to rebuke him. I’m beginning to cast him out in the name of Jesus Christ. It didn’t last long, he was defeated right away.
After that scenario, I rested; I was all sweaty and sticky. I felt tired from struggling against that enemy. I took my sit to relax.
Then there’s another one who’s coming. But this time, I really didn’t feel any danger; I felt peace because it was JESUS. = ) He came near to where I was sitting. He looked at me. Then He smiled. Oh man, that was the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen in my entire life. My jaw dropped. My heart stopped for a while. I held my breath. My muscles paralyzed for a moment. I couldn’t move. That was so awesome! His smile was all perfect. There was a bright light that radiated in His wonderful smile. It was unfathomable. All my worries, fears, and exhaustion just slipped away in an instant. I saw His teeth, so white so heavenly! *sigh* I was stuck in that moment, just staring in His astonishing and superb smile.
Then He sat beside me. I felt honored and oh-so-grateful. He didn’t spoke a word. And then, I started talking to Jesus. I was like a little girl narrating stories to my daddy. It was a very comfortable and tranquil conversation. I told Him what happened earlier that an enemy tried to scare me. Jesus was just listening and smiling again (oh my, it was really melting). Imagine that guys, He’s just looking at my sweaty face and He’s just carefully and gently listening plus He’s smiling tenderly. I felt secured. I felt peace that passes’ all understanding. I felt loved.
If I could just have a supernatural camera to capture that blissful moment *sigh*. I couldn’t remember the rest of that dream. The most important thing is that Jesus’ smile left a mark in my heart, in my mind and in my soul. I woke up that morning smiling. = ) That was remarkable. I thanked Jesus right away.
From that significant night, I’m always praying to the Lord that I want and I long to see His smile again. Until now, Jesus still doesn’t let me to dream of His smile again.
The Lord impressed to me just a few minutes ago that if I desire to see His magnificent smile again, I have to do something. I should “make” Him smile again. How? Spend more time with Him (pray, read His Word, worship). Serve Him more (win more souls, disciple). Love Jesus further.
*sigh* I can’t wait to see a glimpse of that sweetest zillion-dollar-smile all over again. ^_____^
Everything was only a dream, but it’s playing on my mind over and over again.
I dreamt of this few weeks ago, and I’m remembering it most of the time. It was somewhat “horror” at the beginning, hehe. But it had an amazing twist in the end.
This is how the story goes:
I was sitting on a room then suddenly a “normal” man from nowhere entered and started singing. I felt no harm, because it was just normal, he looked ordinary, nothing to be anxious about. Then the man started to change his feature and his voice altered. I couldn’t remember, but I knew in my dream that he was from the enemy, from the devil. But of course I started to rebuke him. I’m beginning to cast him out in the name of Jesus Christ. It didn’t last long, he was defeated right away.
After that scenario, I rested; I was all sweaty and sticky. I felt tired from struggling against that enemy. I took my sit to relax.
Then there’s another one who’s coming. But this time, I really didn’t feel any danger; I felt peace because it was JESUS. = ) He came near to where I was sitting. He looked at me. Then He smiled. Oh man, that was the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen in my entire life. My jaw dropped. My heart stopped for a while. I held my breath. My muscles paralyzed for a moment. I couldn’t move. That was so awesome! His smile was all perfect. There was a bright light that radiated in His wonderful smile. It was unfathomable. All my worries, fears, and exhaustion just slipped away in an instant. I saw His teeth, so white so heavenly! *sigh* I was stuck in that moment, just staring in His astonishing and superb smile.
Then He sat beside me. I felt honored and oh-so-grateful. He didn’t spoke a word. And then, I started talking to Jesus. I was like a little girl narrating stories to my daddy. It was a very comfortable and tranquil conversation. I told Him what happened earlier that an enemy tried to scare me. Jesus was just listening and smiling again (oh my, it was really melting). Imagine that guys, He’s just looking at my sweaty face and He’s just carefully and gently listening plus He’s smiling tenderly. I felt secured. I felt peace that passes’ all understanding. I felt loved.
If I could just have a supernatural camera to capture that blissful moment *sigh*. I couldn’t remember the rest of that dream. The most important thing is that Jesus’ smile left a mark in my heart, in my mind and in my soul. I woke up that morning smiling. = ) That was remarkable. I thanked Jesus right away.
From that significant night, I’m always praying to the Lord that I want and I long to see His smile again. Until now, Jesus still doesn’t let me to dream of His smile again.
The Lord impressed to me just a few minutes ago that if I desire to see His magnificent smile again, I have to do something. I should “make” Him smile again. How? Spend more time with Him (pray, read His Word, worship). Serve Him more (win more souls, disciple). Love Jesus further.
*sigh* I can’t wait to see a glimpse of that sweetest zillion-dollar-smile all over again. ^_____^
little they know
August 10, 2009
People spend 24 hours of their lives in different things.
And yet they can’t spend even just a minute in talking to God.
Little they know that He actually gave those 24 hours of their lives.
People often pay little attention to their spiritual life.
They are always busy, so little time, or no time at all.
Little they know that it is the most vital part in ones’ life.
People always find happiness with their friends, gimmicks, parties, etc.
They find it ridiculous when it comes to “Jesus” matters.
Little they know that He is the real source of joy-a genuine meaning of happiness.
People take all kinds of medicine, vitamins, food supplements, etc. to make themselves healthy.
And yet different kind of sicknesses and illnesses are attacking them.
Little they know that they only need is the greatest physician of all times – Jesus.
People are always having fond of reading magazines, newspapers, latest showbiz updates, informational books, etc.
And find it boring and corny in reading God’s Word.
Little they know that the Bible is full of wisdom – wisdom that is beyond human explanation and imagination.
People love music.
They find godly music as dull and uninteresting genre of all times.
Little they know that God made music. He himself is a beautiful instrument to the ears.
People strive very hard to earn money and survive.
And yet they still lack and insufficient.
Little they know that God gave the power to produce wealth. And He is the ultimate provider.
People do get hurt, lonely and sad.
They seek belongingness and healing to other people, and yet, still rejected.
Little they know that God can take away that sadness and turn it into gladness.
People always look and search for true love.
And yet they are still cheated, betrayed, and left behind.
Little they know God prepared someone for them that can give indisputable love.
People prioritize their family.
And yet husbands and wives part ways. Children rebel against their parents.
Little they know that when God is the foundation of their family, everything’s under control.
People do have a lot of problems and sufferings.
They tend to blame God for everything.
Little they know that it’s just a consequence of their past doings. And yet God is still willing to
fix and arrange it even if He does not have anything to do with it.
People always say “I’ll serve Him when I already have the time”
Well in fact, they have all the time. They even have the time to watch movies, etc.
Little they know that it’s actually a big opportunity to serve God.
People save money for future investment, or for emergencies.
They find it unwise giving the 10% of their earnings to God.
Little they know that giving their tithes is the key to Heaven’s windows and gates of blessing.
People easily believe, have faith, and look up to people that are famous and rich.
They appreciate those people so much, even if those people didn’t do anything to their lives. But neglecting what Jesus did on the cross.
Little they know that Jesus gave us His life to rescue and show His perfect love for us.
People really don’t know what and who they are missing. They worked so much and yet harvested so little. They are trying to have everything and still got nothing. Why don’t they give their lives to the One who made all these things? The Creator and the Maker of the universe. The Beginning and the End. The Savior of the world. The Greatest Lover of souls. The God of Heaven and Earth. He is all you need. Because in Jesus, you will find, see, and experience genuine and indisputable contentment and happiness in life. ^^
People spend 24 hours of their lives in different things.
And yet they can’t spend even just a minute in talking to God.
Little they know that He actually gave those 24 hours of their lives.
People often pay little attention to their spiritual life.
They are always busy, so little time, or no time at all.
Little they know that it is the most vital part in ones’ life.
People always find happiness with their friends, gimmicks, parties, etc.
They find it ridiculous when it comes to “Jesus” matters.
Little they know that He is the real source of joy-a genuine meaning of happiness.
People take all kinds of medicine, vitamins, food supplements, etc. to make themselves healthy.
And yet different kind of sicknesses and illnesses are attacking them.
Little they know that they only need is the greatest physician of all times – Jesus.
People are always having fond of reading magazines, newspapers, latest showbiz updates, informational books, etc.
And find it boring and corny in reading God’s Word.
Little they know that the Bible is full of wisdom – wisdom that is beyond human explanation and imagination.
People love music.
They find godly music as dull and uninteresting genre of all times.
Little they know that God made music. He himself is a beautiful instrument to the ears.
People strive very hard to earn money and survive.
And yet they still lack and insufficient.
Little they know that God gave the power to produce wealth. And He is the ultimate provider.
People do get hurt, lonely and sad.
They seek belongingness and healing to other people, and yet, still rejected.
Little they know that God can take away that sadness and turn it into gladness.
People always look and search for true love.
And yet they are still cheated, betrayed, and left behind.
Little they know God prepared someone for them that can give indisputable love.
People prioritize their family.
And yet husbands and wives part ways. Children rebel against their parents.
Little they know that when God is the foundation of their family, everything’s under control.
People do have a lot of problems and sufferings.
They tend to blame God for everything.
Little they know that it’s just a consequence of their past doings. And yet God is still willing to
fix and arrange it even if He does not have anything to do with it.
People always say “I’ll serve Him when I already have the time”
Well in fact, they have all the time. They even have the time to watch movies, etc.
Little they know that it’s actually a big opportunity to serve God.
People save money for future investment, or for emergencies.
They find it unwise giving the 10% of their earnings to God.
Little they know that giving their tithes is the key to Heaven’s windows and gates of blessing.
People easily believe, have faith, and look up to people that are famous and rich.
They appreciate those people so much, even if those people didn’t do anything to their lives. But neglecting what Jesus did on the cross.
Little they know that Jesus gave us His life to rescue and show His perfect love for us.
People really don’t know what and who they are missing. They worked so much and yet harvested so little. They are trying to have everything and still got nothing. Why don’t they give their lives to the One who made all these things? The Creator and the Maker of the universe. The Beginning and the End. The Savior of the world. The Greatest Lover of souls. The God of Heaven and Earth. He is all you need. Because in Jesus, you will find, see, and experience genuine and indisputable contentment and happiness in life. ^^
apply it and change
July 25, 2009
I attended a 3-days G12 conference (07/23-07/25,’09). Oh men, it’s like I attended an encounter over and over again. I paid only 300 pesos. But I think that would not be enough to pay the things that the Lord showed me during those 3 days. I’m not sure how many plenaries we had. Well, if there were 20 plenaries, I cried 19 times, hehe. For all you know, pinoy pastors who shared there were really anointed by God. You can feel the presence of God in their lives, they are really a living testimony. In the plenaries, oh men, it was so unexplainable, as if the Lord was talking to me directly. My eyes were really opened wide. (Oh yeah, I got 2 big eyes, but it still grew bigger, hehe). I listened tentatively. I took down notes. (I wish I took my steno subject in high school seriously so that I could use it, hehe) Because everything the pastors had said were all very important. I can’t afford to blink an eye, to put down my pen, or to talk to my mom right next to me because the Words were really like a 2-edged sword that’s penetrating thru my heart, my bones, and my veins. Oh well, the pastors kept on saying these words “you’re not here to learn, but to change.” Of course, it struck my heart. What’s the purpose of that kind of conferences or trainings to me if I won’t change? I won’t elaborate all here what’s the Lord had said to me. I just can’t contain it here. But I’ll just site some: About the ark, which represents the very presence of God in my life; the vision; living in the cross, and giving back the throne in my heart to the Lord; being fruitful; loving God; loving His people; conquering spirit; the power of my words; that I’m from Joshua generation. I’ve recommitted my life to Him, in all His ways.
Okay, I know you do not understand what I am saying here. But the bottom line here is this: I have received so much from the Lord during those 3 days, incomparable and priceless corrections and wisdom. And the most important thing here is..APPLICATION! To see the change in me.
Okay, I always feel that way. That every time I am attending a seminar or conference, it feels like I’m recharging. It’s like I’m loading my armalite and shoot afterwards. And then, I know right after those kinds of conferences, somebody or something will attack me to test everything I’ve received from the Lord. It’s not necessarily the devil, but of course he’s watching. It’s sometimes, myself!
So here’s what happened: TEST NO. 1: right after the conference, just a couple of minutes had passed. My mom and I rode a taxi. We were so overwhelmed about what the Lord had done to us. We were not talking to each other, I don’t know why we were not having chats. Maybe we’re still in the presence of the Lord that time. And then we’re about to go to Pasig, our church, because we’ll be having our youth net. I’m so excited this time. I just can’t shake the fire burning deep inside my heart (it’s a song, hehe) I want to share the faya (fire, hehe) within me to my disciples. And then we drove along Edsa, my mom said we should go thru Santolan to shorten the travelling time. Okay, I looked to the fare meter, still fine. A little bit of traffic. When we reached the highway going to Libis, there was a heavy traffic. So in short, the driver changed the route, we were confident that he knew the way. But sad to say, he really didn’t know the way. The fare meter started to drop faster. I will pay twice the price I’ve paid last night; it’s just all because of the driver’s fault. It’s as if he toured us in Marikina, Santolan, and around the world. My hot temper tried to entice me. I wanted to react negatively. But oops! Here’s the Spirit reminded me the things I’ve received in the seminar earlier. So I just turned my music on and listened to “filled with joy”. So I thought I passed the first test. And then, here’s my mom. She started to make sort-of-ugly-faces. She started to whisper something that’s negative about the driver. Her eyebrows started to rise. And that face of my mom, if you know her, you’ll understand me, hehe. That face, started to tickle my temper. I wanted to react negatively. But oops! Here comes the Spirit to the rescue again. Gladly, I didn’t react ^^ So we reached our destination paying twice the price last night with a smile ^^ I passed the first test. Yes!
TEST NO.2: and after our joyride, hehe. I’m about to fetch my cell members somewhere in Pasig also. I kept on texting my disciples, where are they that moment. Are they already prepared? etc. etc. No one’s replying. Not a single a b c. So I have no idea where are they that time. Isn’t that great? (Sarcastic tone) After a while, one of them replied. I’m excited to open my inbox. She said “ate ayi, can’t come because tooooot…I won’t say the reason for her own safety, hehe. It’s me who’s the Lord is dealing with anyway. My heart walked in the edge of breaking and being patient. I inhaled, exhaled. I remembered the word “love” I heard earlier in the conference. ^^ So I replied to her with so much love. ^^ and I convinced her to attend. So I passed the 2nd test. ^^
TEST NO. 3: and then, as I reached to the place where I’ll fetch my cell members, they’re not still prepared! They’re not yet dressed, etc. etc, to think that our youth net is about to start. Oh my! my flesh is whispering “ayi, sampulan mo na cla, wahaha!” but the Spirit of the Lord still prevailed ^^ The Lord said to me as the dust and the pollution slammed to my sweaty face (the sun was so hot that time, nakikisama ba, hehe) “Ayi, don’t let those simple things quench the fire, kakatapos lang ng conference, inaabangan ka ng mga masasamang elemento kung pano ka magrereact sa mga makikita at maririnig mo, if you’re really decided to change and apply what you have received from Me” And in that moment, I said “okay Lord, get it” My cell members came late, but I still greeted them with a smile ^^ I passed the 3rd test. Yes!
You know what? I can’t afford to miss those kind of conferences because it’s an opportunity, an open door for me to change. And yes, I have decided to change. I don’t want to be foolish in the eyes of the Lord. I don’t want to be just hearer or listener of the Word but to be a doer. It’s just a matter of entrusting the throne of my heart to the One who really owns it, and crucify my flesh at the cross. ^^ If I change, everything changes. Apply it! Apply it! Apply it! And change! ^^
I attended a 3-days G12 conference (07/23-07/25,’09). Oh men, it’s like I attended an encounter over and over again. I paid only 300 pesos. But I think that would not be enough to pay the things that the Lord showed me during those 3 days. I’m not sure how many plenaries we had. Well, if there were 20 plenaries, I cried 19 times, hehe. For all you know, pinoy pastors who shared there were really anointed by God. You can feel the presence of God in their lives, they are really a living testimony. In the plenaries, oh men, it was so unexplainable, as if the Lord was talking to me directly. My eyes were really opened wide. (Oh yeah, I got 2 big eyes, but it still grew bigger, hehe). I listened tentatively. I took down notes. (I wish I took my steno subject in high school seriously so that I could use it, hehe) Because everything the pastors had said were all very important. I can’t afford to blink an eye, to put down my pen, or to talk to my mom right next to me because the Words were really like a 2-edged sword that’s penetrating thru my heart, my bones, and my veins. Oh well, the pastors kept on saying these words “you’re not here to learn, but to change.” Of course, it struck my heart. What’s the purpose of that kind of conferences or trainings to me if I won’t change? I won’t elaborate all here what’s the Lord had said to me. I just can’t contain it here. But I’ll just site some: About the ark, which represents the very presence of God in my life; the vision; living in the cross, and giving back the throne in my heart to the Lord; being fruitful; loving God; loving His people; conquering spirit; the power of my words; that I’m from Joshua generation. I’ve recommitted my life to Him, in all His ways.
Okay, I know you do not understand what I am saying here. But the bottom line here is this: I have received so much from the Lord during those 3 days, incomparable and priceless corrections and wisdom. And the most important thing here is..APPLICATION! To see the change in me.
Okay, I always feel that way. That every time I am attending a seminar or conference, it feels like I’m recharging. It’s like I’m loading my armalite and shoot afterwards. And then, I know right after those kinds of conferences, somebody or something will attack me to test everything I’ve received from the Lord. It’s not necessarily the devil, but of course he’s watching. It’s sometimes, myself!
So here’s what happened: TEST NO. 1: right after the conference, just a couple of minutes had passed. My mom and I rode a taxi. We were so overwhelmed about what the Lord had done to us. We were not talking to each other, I don’t know why we were not having chats. Maybe we’re still in the presence of the Lord that time. And then we’re about to go to Pasig, our church, because we’ll be having our youth net. I’m so excited this time. I just can’t shake the fire burning deep inside my heart (it’s a song, hehe) I want to share the faya (fire, hehe) within me to my disciples. And then we drove along Edsa, my mom said we should go thru Santolan to shorten the travelling time. Okay, I looked to the fare meter, still fine. A little bit of traffic. When we reached the highway going to Libis, there was a heavy traffic. So in short, the driver changed the route, we were confident that he knew the way. But sad to say, he really didn’t know the way. The fare meter started to drop faster. I will pay twice the price I’ve paid last night; it’s just all because of the driver’s fault. It’s as if he toured us in Marikina, Santolan, and around the world. My hot temper tried to entice me. I wanted to react negatively. But oops! Here’s the Spirit reminded me the things I’ve received in the seminar earlier. So I just turned my music on and listened to “filled with joy”. So I thought I passed the first test. And then, here’s my mom. She started to make sort-of-ugly-faces. She started to whisper something that’s negative about the driver. Her eyebrows started to rise. And that face of my mom, if you know her, you’ll understand me, hehe. That face, started to tickle my temper. I wanted to react negatively. But oops! Here comes the Spirit to the rescue again. Gladly, I didn’t react ^^ So we reached our destination paying twice the price last night with a smile ^^ I passed the first test. Yes!
TEST NO.2: and after our joyride, hehe. I’m about to fetch my cell members somewhere in Pasig also. I kept on texting my disciples, where are they that moment. Are they already prepared? etc. etc. No one’s replying. Not a single a b c. So I have no idea where are they that time. Isn’t that great? (Sarcastic tone) After a while, one of them replied. I’m excited to open my inbox. She said “ate ayi, can’t come because tooooot…I won’t say the reason for her own safety, hehe. It’s me who’s the Lord is dealing with anyway. My heart walked in the edge of breaking and being patient. I inhaled, exhaled. I remembered the word “love” I heard earlier in the conference. ^^ So I replied to her with so much love. ^^ and I convinced her to attend. So I passed the 2nd test. ^^
TEST NO. 3: and then, as I reached to the place where I’ll fetch my cell members, they’re not still prepared! They’re not yet dressed, etc. etc, to think that our youth net is about to start. Oh my! my flesh is whispering “ayi, sampulan mo na cla, wahaha!” but the Spirit of the Lord still prevailed ^^ The Lord said to me as the dust and the pollution slammed to my sweaty face (the sun was so hot that time, nakikisama ba, hehe) “Ayi, don’t let those simple things quench the fire, kakatapos lang ng conference, inaabangan ka ng mga masasamang elemento kung pano ka magrereact sa mga makikita at maririnig mo, if you’re really decided to change and apply what you have received from Me” And in that moment, I said “okay Lord, get it” My cell members came late, but I still greeted them with a smile ^^ I passed the 3rd test. Yes!
You know what? I can’t afford to miss those kind of conferences because it’s an opportunity, an open door for me to change. And yes, I have decided to change. I don’t want to be foolish in the eyes of the Lord. I don’t want to be just hearer or listener of the Word but to be a doer. It’s just a matter of entrusting the throne of my heart to the One who really owns it, and crucify my flesh at the cross. ^^ If I change, everything changes. Apply it! Apply it! Apply it! And change! ^^
my twelve girls
June 20, 2009
Jesus: Uhmm..Peter, can I ask you something?
Peter: Of course Lord! You can ask me anything You want =D
Jesus: Do you love me?
Peter: Whoa! Of course Lord! I do love you, with all my heart. = )
Jesus: Okay. ^^ Then feed and take care of my sheep. ^^
I love the Lord. There's no question about that. I'm reading His Word. I'm talking to Him from time to time. I'm singing songs to Him.
But, it's not just like that. He said that I should feed and take care of His sheep to prove my love for Him.
Loving the Lord = loving His people
So the Lord gave me twelve lovely girls to be taken care of. = ) Here they are:
1. Zandy - the talented one. She knows how to sing, dance and act. She's the most maka-"ate ayi" in the group. She's also a cry baby, hehe. She often cries whenever she's touched by the Spirit during praise & worship and Word (mana saken,hehe) hardworking cell leader ^^ (kahit baha, sumusugod paren) one of the persecuted one (ang lulupet ng struggles) . But still chose to continue her service with the Lord. = )
2. Rhoda - the shy type? No. She's not really ashamed of everything. "nahihiya ako ate ayi" is just her favorite line, hehe. But she's the first one to testify in our macronet. ^^ She just needs more confidence about herself. The most secretive girl in the group (pero konting pilit lang,sasabihin ren pala,hehe)the campus cell leader. ^^ She's winning her classmates for the Lord.= )
3. Hanna - the bassist (galing noh?). The "bunsoy" in the group,hehe. I witnessed her "pagdadalaga". She loves yellow so much. She loves to suggest ideas. And it is a great help for me. The inloved one. haha! Because she already met her prince charming (oh well, I'm still praying about them, hehe) I'm proud of her coz' now she's having her cell group again.= )
4. Aina - the most "kikay" in the group, hehe. She's actually my cousin. ^^ She's dreaming big and aiming high about her future. Showbiz girl, hehe. The not-so-talkative-one. But she tried to win our other cousins for the Lord = ) and now, she's praying to have a cellgroup again. = )
5. Ate Grace - my future sister-in-law. ^^ The good listener. She has a very receptive heart. ^^ She's always willing to learn and admit what's not right about her. ^^ She loves photography. She smiles and laughs often. She's currently a post encounter student. I can see that she's growing, in terms of her relationship with the Lord. = )
6. Trudy - my high school friend and classmate. I believe that abbey (her bf, my church mate) was an instrument for her to know the Lord.^^ She has a beautiful voice. She's very vocal about what she feels. She's very open about herself. She tells me everything. (I guess? hehe) the giver. She loves to treat other people. ^^ She's now entering school of leaders 1. And I can see the Lord's move in her life. = )
7. Angel - the serious type in the group. The consistent one in making journals, hehe. She is a potential writer. I love her deep insights. She acts as if she's the eldest among the other girls. I can rely on her coz' she's responsible enough to handle the task I've given her. She often gets sleepy, hehe. I thought I'd lose her, coz she had a plan transferring to other church. But the Lord never allowed it, she stayed. = )
8. Cherrymae - she's my "inaanak",hehe. She looks quiet. But she's not, hehe. She loves to talk and tell stories about herself, her classmates, etc. She used to like "emo" stuff, hehe. She loves music. She's bubbles in the powerpuff girls (I’ll introduce the others later, hehe) She's only 13yrs old but she's currently in school of leaders 2.^^ and soon she'll be a cell leader. = )
9. Kazemere - the quiet type in the group. But she once played the lead role in our mini theatre presentation. ^^ She's also consistent in reading the Bible and prayer of three. She's a very loving "ate" to her younger siblings. She's blossom in the powerpuff girls, hehe. She's also in sol 2. And soon to be a cell leader = )
10. Adelyn - the undiscovered song bird, hehe. She sings well. She's always copying the new songs in the church and learns how to sing it. The quiet and shy type look. But the one who jumps first and "nakikipagkulitan" every praise and worship. She's buttercup in the powerpuff girls,hehe. She's in sol 2 and a future cell leader = )
11. Joanna - the dancing princess. She's new in the group and yet the most talkative, hehe. She's currently a post encounter student, but she brought many of her friends to church and in our cellgroup. (nakakabless talaga!) She loves to take pictures of herself and her friends. (mana saken?haha). I believe that she'll win more souls for the Lord = )
12. Laica - the newest of my girls. But she's willing to serve the Lord. Actually, she's bringing most of her friends too during our net celebrations. she is scheduled for EGW this coming august and I pray that she'll continue walking with the Lord.= )
That's my twelve. = ) Thank God for them. I can't handle them all by myself,(read my blog before this, you'll see there how difficult it is for me, hehe) I need the power of the Lord of course. It takes a lot of love, time and effort to handle these girls. A very deep devotion with the Lord is the main requirement to take care of them. They are not yet perfect. So do I. But we all do have the same purpose, goal and vision. To love God above all. To love people. To win souls for Him. To make disciples.
Jesus: Do you love me Ayi?
Ayi: of course Lord. I love you so much.
Jesus: okay. Then devote your life in discipling and loving them. = )
Jesus: Uhmm..Peter, can I ask you something?
Peter: Of course Lord! You can ask me anything You want =D
Jesus: Do you love me?
Peter: Whoa! Of course Lord! I do love you, with all my heart. = )
Jesus: Okay. ^^ Then feed and take care of my sheep. ^^
I love the Lord. There's no question about that. I'm reading His Word. I'm talking to Him from time to time. I'm singing songs to Him.
But, it's not just like that. He said that I should feed and take care of His sheep to prove my love for Him.
Loving the Lord = loving His people
So the Lord gave me twelve lovely girls to be taken care of. = ) Here they are:
1. Zandy - the talented one. She knows how to sing, dance and act. She's the most maka-"ate ayi" in the group. She's also a cry baby, hehe. She often cries whenever she's touched by the Spirit during praise & worship and Word (mana saken,hehe) hardworking cell leader ^^ (kahit baha, sumusugod paren) one of the persecuted one (ang lulupet ng struggles) . But still chose to continue her service with the Lord. = )
2. Rhoda - the shy type? No. She's not really ashamed of everything. "nahihiya ako ate ayi" is just her favorite line, hehe. But she's the first one to testify in our macronet. ^^ She just needs more confidence about herself. The most secretive girl in the group (pero konting pilit lang,sasabihin ren pala,hehe)the campus cell leader. ^^ She's winning her classmates for the Lord.= )
3. Hanna - the bassist (galing noh?). The "bunsoy" in the group,hehe. I witnessed her "pagdadalaga". She loves yellow so much. She loves to suggest ideas. And it is a great help for me. The inloved one. haha! Because she already met her prince charming (oh well, I'm still praying about them, hehe) I'm proud of her coz' now she's having her cell group again.= )
4. Aina - the most "kikay" in the group, hehe. She's actually my cousin. ^^ She's dreaming big and aiming high about her future. Showbiz girl, hehe. The not-so-talkative-one. But she tried to win our other cousins for the Lord = ) and now, she's praying to have a cellgroup again. = )
5. Ate Grace - my future sister-in-law. ^^ The good listener. She has a very receptive heart. ^^ She's always willing to learn and admit what's not right about her. ^^ She loves photography. She smiles and laughs often. She's currently a post encounter student. I can see that she's growing, in terms of her relationship with the Lord. = )
6. Trudy - my high school friend and classmate. I believe that abbey (her bf, my church mate) was an instrument for her to know the Lord.^^ She has a beautiful voice. She's very vocal about what she feels. She's very open about herself. She tells me everything. (I guess? hehe) the giver. She loves to treat other people. ^^ She's now entering school of leaders 1. And I can see the Lord's move in her life. = )
7. Angel - the serious type in the group. The consistent one in making journals, hehe. She is a potential writer. I love her deep insights. She acts as if she's the eldest among the other girls. I can rely on her coz' she's responsible enough to handle the task I've given her. She often gets sleepy, hehe. I thought I'd lose her, coz she had a plan transferring to other church. But the Lord never allowed it, she stayed. = )
8. Cherrymae - she's my "inaanak",hehe. She looks quiet. But she's not, hehe. She loves to talk and tell stories about herself, her classmates, etc. She used to like "emo" stuff, hehe. She loves music. She's bubbles in the powerpuff girls (I’ll introduce the others later, hehe) She's only 13yrs old but she's currently in school of leaders 2.^^ and soon she'll be a cell leader. = )
9. Kazemere - the quiet type in the group. But she once played the lead role in our mini theatre presentation. ^^ She's also consistent in reading the Bible and prayer of three. She's a very loving "ate" to her younger siblings. She's blossom in the powerpuff girls, hehe. She's also in sol 2. And soon to be a cell leader = )
10. Adelyn - the undiscovered song bird, hehe. She sings well. She's always copying the new songs in the church and learns how to sing it. The quiet and shy type look. But the one who jumps first and "nakikipagkulitan" every praise and worship. She's buttercup in the powerpuff girls,hehe. She's in sol 2 and a future cell leader = )
11. Joanna - the dancing princess. She's new in the group and yet the most talkative, hehe. She's currently a post encounter student, but she brought many of her friends to church and in our cellgroup. (nakakabless talaga!) She loves to take pictures of herself and her friends. (mana saken?haha). I believe that she'll win more souls for the Lord = )
12. Laica - the newest of my girls. But she's willing to serve the Lord. Actually, she's bringing most of her friends too during our net celebrations. she is scheduled for EGW this coming august and I pray that she'll continue walking with the Lord.= )
That's my twelve. = ) Thank God for them. I can't handle them all by myself,(read my blog before this, you'll see there how difficult it is for me, hehe) I need the power of the Lord of course. It takes a lot of love, time and effort to handle these girls. A very deep devotion with the Lord is the main requirement to take care of them. They are not yet perfect. So do I. But we all do have the same purpose, goal and vision. To love God above all. To love people. To win souls for Him. To make disciples.
Jesus: Do you love me Ayi?
Ayi: of course Lord. I love you so much.
Jesus: okay. Then devote your life in discipling and loving them. = )
they might be your rewards
May 13, 2009
Ayi: Hi Lord = (
Jesus: Hi sweetie = ) What makes you sad? I want to hear it from you.
Ayi: I’m hurting = ( I’m having a hard time now dealing with my disciples and cell group members. I don’t know if they are really willing to be with me. If they follow my instructions (instructions from You of course) out of love or out of mere obligation. And it really hurts me if they're making all kinds of excuses not to follow You. *sigh* Lord, I’m also confused, maybe the problem is myself! Maybe my efforts aren’t enough. Or maybe a consequence. Or I’m just reaping of what I have sown. I’m not complaining Lord. I’m just pouring out my heart to You. I know You understand me. = (
Jesus: Yeah, I do understand. You're not the only one who's experiencing it. I, myself also gone through it. Remember?
Ayi: Yeah. But Lord, I’m just wondering, how did You handle Your disciples? Do You get disappointed? Did it also hurt sometimes?
Jesus: Of course, I do get disappointed sometimes. Do you remember the scenario when I prayed in the mountain of Gethsemane and instructed them to keep watch and pray also? What did they do? They slept. = p And how about peter who disowned me three times? And of course Judas. Who betrayed me for 30 pieces of silver coins..= p
Ayi: Aaww! If I were their leader, I would have punched them in the face! I would have punished them! hahaha! Just kidding = ( Because you know me Lord. My flesh is impatient. The kind of flesh that "If you don’t want to do this, then don’t!" "Who do you think is going to suffer anyway? Me? huh!" "You don’t want to follow? Fine! That's your life not mine!" “You don’t want to believe Jesus? Then suffer in hell!”
Jesus: hahaha! You have to work on your attitude sweetie ^^ hmmm. Oh well, honestly, I see some improvements. I’m not seeing the old Ayi. You’re nicer, sweeter and more kind now to them, hehe. You are now somehow able to control yourself to say those mean phrases. =D
Ayi: hihi. Thanks Lord ^^ I believe that it’s because I’m more responsible now in my walk and service with You. Never felt this close to You before. I’m trying very hard to make my journals daily = D To follow closely the G12 vision.
Jesus: Keep it up sweetie = )
Ayi: Lord, back to our topic earlier. = ( What will I do now?
Jesus: Press on! Continue the race! Let nothing move you! What you have said earlier are all normal. I mean, you will truly experience those things. Those hurts. Those struggles. Of course everything’s not yet perfect. You’re not in My home yet! You’re still there in the world, and you still have a lot to do. You still have a lot to learn and understand. Come’ on! In fact you still don’t have your 12 disciples yet.= p So better complete it asap.
Ayi: = D hehe..okay Lord! I will = )
Jesus: You know what sweetie. I have foreseen the perfect plan of my Father for me when I’m there in the earth. I’ve absolutely believed the purpose why I came down there. I’ve fully understood the reason why I have to go through all of those hardships. I’ve seen beforehand the outcome and the result of my sacrifices and step of obedience. That’s why I endured everything. The cost of leading my 12 disciples. The cross. I knew in the firstplace that the outcome and the result is YOU ^^
Ayi: waaah! T_T You always make me cry = ‘(
Jesus: it’s true sweetie ^^ oh well, I had the choice to make my disciples to become robots, and in one click, I can make them follow Me. I had the choice not to die on the cross. I’m able to do it. But I didn’t do it. ^^ I had to go through the process of molding my disciples (like what you're doing now) for you to know and to have the best example for doing it. I had to die on the cross for your salvation and everybody else. And of course I love you. ^^
What I’m trying to say is, you should foresee the outcome and what’s on the finish line. You should believe what I have prepared for you in the end for serving and loving Me. So that, you’ll strive harder, and that will keep you going ^^
Love your disciples and cell group members sweetie = ) Be more patient. Be more considerate. Be more responsible. I have given you them, because I know you can handle it and you can make it. ^^ I’m always with you. Don’t worry; I’ll give you more wisdom. Just stay close to Me. You may not know. Your disciples and cell members are your rewards = )
Ayi: Hi Lord = (
Jesus: Hi sweetie = ) What makes you sad? I want to hear it from you.
Ayi: I’m hurting = ( I’m having a hard time now dealing with my disciples and cell group members. I don’t know if they are really willing to be with me. If they follow my instructions (instructions from You of course) out of love or out of mere obligation. And it really hurts me if they're making all kinds of excuses not to follow You. *sigh* Lord, I’m also confused, maybe the problem is myself! Maybe my efforts aren’t enough. Or maybe a consequence. Or I’m just reaping of what I have sown. I’m not complaining Lord. I’m just pouring out my heart to You. I know You understand me. = (
Jesus: Yeah, I do understand. You're not the only one who's experiencing it. I, myself also gone through it. Remember?
Ayi: Yeah. But Lord, I’m just wondering, how did You handle Your disciples? Do You get disappointed? Did it also hurt sometimes?
Jesus: Of course, I do get disappointed sometimes. Do you remember the scenario when I prayed in the mountain of Gethsemane and instructed them to keep watch and pray also? What did they do? They slept. = p And how about peter who disowned me three times? And of course Judas. Who betrayed me for 30 pieces of silver coins..= p
Ayi: Aaww! If I were their leader, I would have punched them in the face! I would have punished them! hahaha! Just kidding = ( Because you know me Lord. My flesh is impatient. The kind of flesh that "If you don’t want to do this, then don’t!" "Who do you think is going to suffer anyway? Me? huh!" "You don’t want to follow? Fine! That's your life not mine!" “You don’t want to believe Jesus? Then suffer in hell!”
Jesus: hahaha! You have to work on your attitude sweetie ^^ hmmm. Oh well, honestly, I see some improvements. I’m not seeing the old Ayi. You’re nicer, sweeter and more kind now to them, hehe. You are now somehow able to control yourself to say those mean phrases. =D
Ayi: hihi. Thanks Lord ^^ I believe that it’s because I’m more responsible now in my walk and service with You. Never felt this close to You before. I’m trying very hard to make my journals daily = D To follow closely the G12 vision.
Jesus: Keep it up sweetie = )
Ayi: Lord, back to our topic earlier. = ( What will I do now?
Jesus: Press on! Continue the race! Let nothing move you! What you have said earlier are all normal. I mean, you will truly experience those things. Those hurts. Those struggles. Of course everything’s not yet perfect. You’re not in My home yet! You’re still there in the world, and you still have a lot to do. You still have a lot to learn and understand. Come’ on! In fact you still don’t have your 12 disciples yet.= p So better complete it asap.
Ayi: = D hehe..okay Lord! I will = )
Jesus: You know what sweetie. I have foreseen the perfect plan of my Father for me when I’m there in the earth. I’ve absolutely believed the purpose why I came down there. I’ve fully understood the reason why I have to go through all of those hardships. I’ve seen beforehand the outcome and the result of my sacrifices and step of obedience. That’s why I endured everything. The cost of leading my 12 disciples. The cross. I knew in the firstplace that the outcome and the result is YOU ^^
Ayi: waaah! T_T You always make me cry = ‘(
Jesus: it’s true sweetie ^^ oh well, I had the choice to make my disciples to become robots, and in one click, I can make them follow Me. I had the choice not to die on the cross. I’m able to do it. But I didn’t do it. ^^ I had to go through the process of molding my disciples (like what you're doing now) for you to know and to have the best example for doing it. I had to die on the cross for your salvation and everybody else. And of course I love you. ^^
What I’m trying to say is, you should foresee the outcome and what’s on the finish line. You should believe what I have prepared for you in the end for serving and loving Me. So that, you’ll strive harder, and that will keep you going ^^
Love your disciples and cell group members sweetie = ) Be more patient. Be more considerate. Be more responsible. I have given you them, because I know you can handle it and you can make it. ^^ I’m always with you. Don’t worry; I’ll give you more wisdom. Just stay close to Me. You may not know. Your disciples and cell members are your rewards = )
almost a year without a daddy
March 15, 2009
Dear Lord,
It’s almost a year that my daddy’s been with You up there in heaven. How’s my daddypot? Is he doing great? I wonder what he’s been doing right now. But one thing is for sure, he is worshipping You all throughout the day, right Lord? Did he already know how to sing in tune? hehe. I wonder what does he looks like right now. Did he gain weight? Did his skin become fairer? I believe my daddy’s eating the freshest fruits and veggies up there. How big was his home? Was it a mansion? A palace that’s made of gold? Who are in his neighborhood? Did he already meet David, Moses, your 12 disciples up there? Are they already friends? How often do You have conversations with him Lord? I am not sure of these things but did he ever tell stories about us? Did he ever say that he missed us so much? Did he remember me? Did he ask about mami? About my kuyas?
Lord, i miss my daddy.=’( A lot. I miss him every day of my life. I remember him every moment. I still envy those people who still have their daddies with them. Oh well, I am no longer hurting that You took him away. I’ve already accepted everything, You know that. I’m just missing my daddypot. =’(
Lord, if You happened to talk to him today. Can You tell him that I missed him so much? Lord I know You can say it to him in a manner that he won’t be lonely. Will You whisper to his ears that I love him? That he still owns the title “best daddy and the best husband to my mom in the whole wide world”?
Lord, can you report what’s happening here? hmmm. Only the best things. I mean the things that You have been greatly doing to us, his family. And to our church. Lord, can you tell him that we’re getting closer to the promise land? That You’re already teaching us to crossover and conquer what You have promised? That we totally embraced the G12 vision. That we regularly have net meetings, cellgroups, etc. And please tell him that mommy’s doing great as a pastor! She’s doing well, she’s trying really hard, and she’s giving her best to continue what You have started to his life. And can You tell him that You have blessed us with many things. Nice sound system, a projector, etc.
Lord, can You tell him that we, his sons and daughter are following Your will? That we are active in serving You? Uhmm. Lord, You know the truth. If we are truly following Your will, hehe. Even his grandson and granddaughter are also missing him.
Lord, can You tell him about me? How I’m trying my best to please You in everything I do? Oops Lord, I know I’m still not that good and consistent enough, hehe. But I think, it can make him smile somehow. Please tell him that I still don’t have a boyfriend = p Because my heart still awaits on Your will Lord. ^^ I still remember, and I am still applying the things he taught me before. Please just whisper to him that I’m getting chubbier, hehe. Lord, please embrace him for me? And gently tell him that I love him so much.
*sigh* honestly Lord. I am really not sure if he will hear these things. Anyway Lord, it is still about You in the end ^^ I truly and strongly believe that You understand me, being emotional because You once lost Your loved one too.
You took my daddy away for a purpose. And I thank You with all my heart for that reason..
Lord, I love my daddypot, You know that. And I am so blessed and grateful to have him even for just a moment. I will see him when I get there..= ) We will have a grand reunion!
*hugs* thank You so much Lord. You’re my physical and spiritual daddy now. And I am so much contented and satisfied..^^
I love You so much.
Dear Lord,
It’s almost a year that my daddy’s been with You up there in heaven. How’s my daddypot? Is he doing great? I wonder what he’s been doing right now. But one thing is for sure, he is worshipping You all throughout the day, right Lord? Did he already know how to sing in tune? hehe. I wonder what does he looks like right now. Did he gain weight? Did his skin become fairer? I believe my daddy’s eating the freshest fruits and veggies up there. How big was his home? Was it a mansion? A palace that’s made of gold? Who are in his neighborhood? Did he already meet David, Moses, your 12 disciples up there? Are they already friends? How often do You have conversations with him Lord? I am not sure of these things but did he ever tell stories about us? Did he ever say that he missed us so much? Did he remember me? Did he ask about mami? About my kuyas?
Lord, i miss my daddy.=’( A lot. I miss him every day of my life. I remember him every moment. I still envy those people who still have their daddies with them. Oh well, I am no longer hurting that You took him away. I’ve already accepted everything, You know that. I’m just missing my daddypot. =’(
Lord, if You happened to talk to him today. Can You tell him that I missed him so much? Lord I know You can say it to him in a manner that he won’t be lonely. Will You whisper to his ears that I love him? That he still owns the title “best daddy and the best husband to my mom in the whole wide world”?
Lord, can you report what’s happening here? hmmm. Only the best things. I mean the things that You have been greatly doing to us, his family. And to our church. Lord, can you tell him that we’re getting closer to the promise land? That You’re already teaching us to crossover and conquer what You have promised? That we totally embraced the G12 vision. That we regularly have net meetings, cellgroups, etc. And please tell him that mommy’s doing great as a pastor! She’s doing well, she’s trying really hard, and she’s giving her best to continue what You have started to his life. And can You tell him that You have blessed us with many things. Nice sound system, a projector, etc.
Lord, can You tell him that we, his sons and daughter are following Your will? That we are active in serving You? Uhmm. Lord, You know the truth. If we are truly following Your will, hehe. Even his grandson and granddaughter are also missing him.
Lord, can You tell him about me? How I’m trying my best to please You in everything I do? Oops Lord, I know I’m still not that good and consistent enough, hehe. But I think, it can make him smile somehow. Please tell him that I still don’t have a boyfriend = p Because my heart still awaits on Your will Lord. ^^ I still remember, and I am still applying the things he taught me before. Please just whisper to him that I’m getting chubbier, hehe. Lord, please embrace him for me? And gently tell him that I love him so much.
*sigh* honestly Lord. I am really not sure if he will hear these things. Anyway Lord, it is still about You in the end ^^ I truly and strongly believe that You understand me, being emotional because You once lost Your loved one too.
You took my daddy away for a purpose. And I thank You with all my heart for that reason..
Lord, I love my daddypot, You know that. And I am so blessed and grateful to have him even for just a moment. I will see him when I get there..= ) We will have a grand reunion!
*hugs* thank You so much Lord. You’re my physical and spiritual daddy now. And I am so much contented and satisfied..^^
I love You so much.
back to the first love
January 10, 2009
Think of this: You are single, and you strongly believe that the Lord already prepared someone who’s perfect and suitable for you. You always daydream on how and when will you meet him. You always ask the Lord where is he now? What does he looks like? What could be your love story? How he’s gonna sweep off your feet? And you do things you know what pleases the Lord. You read the Bible, you share the Word to others, and you talk to Him often. You do these things because you “should” but part of you saying ”Lord, you might be somehow pleased by my acts and you might shorten the waiting time for me to meet my prince charming ” You think that when you get closer to the Lord, you’ll also get closer to the one created for you. You consume your thoughts about your future marriage. You tell the Lord that you’ll wait for Him patiently to bring you the one created for you.
Is it the right thing?
I’ll give you another scenario: There’s one guy whom you think likes you. He waited for you to come out from the school/office. He asked for your number. And eventually you had long conversations with him over the phone. You had coffee dates. He gave you gifts. You consumed to the thought that he likes you. You’re beginning to like him but not yet sure of his real intention. And when you finally asked him what was the meaning of his acts, he would say “Honestly, I think I like you-r best friend, would you mind helping me to get closer to her? Because you know her very well, thanks a lot.”
Oouuch! So unfair!
Now pause, ponder, and relate the two scenarios. Somehow the same, right?
Actually, we are like that guy. Oh well, it’s not wrong to do things that please the Lord that we think might shorten the waiting time. Hoping and waiting for Him to bring the person created for us. I said it’s not wrong. But it’s not just like that.
It’s too selfish.
If we’re pleasing the Lord just for the sake of meeting your future spouse, better stop it and ask Him to correct your motive. The Lord is not a delivery boy, where our concern is only to the thing He will deliver. The Lord is supposed to be our first love.
Revelations 2:4-5 “Yet I hold this against you; you have forsaken your first love.”
Yeah, we do love the Lord. But sometimes, it’s just an appearance that we love the Lord. Because actually, there’s something or someone in our hearts we regard as our first love. We are consumed of selfish thoughts and motives. We unintentionally replace God’s perfect love in our hearts with the longing and desire of someone’s love.
Why don’t we set our interests, our eyes, our whole being, our love to the Lord? He deserves all of it. Get more in love with Him because only His love can make us feel satisfied and complete. Isn’t the cross an enough reason to make Him our first love?
Consume your thoughts about the Lord’s goodness and kindness. Think of his never ending mercy every morning. Talk to Him regularly. Read His Word daily. Do His will. Share His Word to others. Seek and look for Him always.
Until you come to a point wherein you’re not interested anymore to selfish things and just entrust the Lord everything.
You won’t do this just because of any other reason. You will do this because you want to go back to your first love. ^_^
Think of this: You are single, and you strongly believe that the Lord already prepared someone who’s perfect and suitable for you. You always daydream on how and when will you meet him. You always ask the Lord where is he now? What does he looks like? What could be your love story? How he’s gonna sweep off your feet? And you do things you know what pleases the Lord. You read the Bible, you share the Word to others, and you talk to Him often. You do these things because you “should” but part of you saying ”Lord, you might be somehow pleased by my acts and you might shorten the waiting time for me to meet my prince charming ” You think that when you get closer to the Lord, you’ll also get closer to the one created for you. You consume your thoughts about your future marriage. You tell the Lord that you’ll wait for Him patiently to bring you the one created for you.
Is it the right thing?
I’ll give you another scenario: There’s one guy whom you think likes you. He waited for you to come out from the school/office. He asked for your number. And eventually you had long conversations with him over the phone. You had coffee dates. He gave you gifts. You consumed to the thought that he likes you. You’re beginning to like him but not yet sure of his real intention. And when you finally asked him what was the meaning of his acts, he would say “Honestly, I think I like you-r best friend, would you mind helping me to get closer to her? Because you know her very well, thanks a lot.”
Oouuch! So unfair!
Now pause, ponder, and relate the two scenarios. Somehow the same, right?
Actually, we are like that guy. Oh well, it’s not wrong to do things that please the Lord that we think might shorten the waiting time. Hoping and waiting for Him to bring the person created for us. I said it’s not wrong. But it’s not just like that.
It’s too selfish.
If we’re pleasing the Lord just for the sake of meeting your future spouse, better stop it and ask Him to correct your motive. The Lord is not a delivery boy, where our concern is only to the thing He will deliver. The Lord is supposed to be our first love.
Revelations 2:4-5 “Yet I hold this against you; you have forsaken your first love.”
Yeah, we do love the Lord. But sometimes, it’s just an appearance that we love the Lord. Because actually, there’s something or someone in our hearts we regard as our first love. We are consumed of selfish thoughts and motives. We unintentionally replace God’s perfect love in our hearts with the longing and desire of someone’s love.
Why don’t we set our interests, our eyes, our whole being, our love to the Lord? He deserves all of it. Get more in love with Him because only His love can make us feel satisfied and complete. Isn’t the cross an enough reason to make Him our first love?
Consume your thoughts about the Lord’s goodness and kindness. Think of his never ending mercy every morning. Talk to Him regularly. Read His Word daily. Do His will. Share His Word to others. Seek and look for Him always.
Until you come to a point wherein you’re not interested anymore to selfish things and just entrust the Lord everything.
You won’t do this just because of any other reason. You will do this because you want to go back to your first love. ^_^
goodbye isaac!
October 3, 2008
Do you know the story of Abraham and Isaac in the Bible? I'll briefly tell you the story (with matching paraphrases and Ayi’s own version of their conversation, hehe). Here it goes:
God: Abraham, wake up. Wake up!
Abraham: (still yawning) Yes Lord?
God: Come here quickly, let’s talk, I will tell you something that’s very important.
Abraham: Okay Lord, here I am.
God: You know what son, I have a plan, a perfect plan, I want to make you a father of all nations, I will make your descendants as many as the stars in the heaven, and as many as the sand in the seashore. Isn’t it exciting?
Abraham: (eyes that’s still sleepy suddenly opened wide) Huuuwaaat Lord? Is that true? Is that a joke? Oh I’m sorry. But Lord, how can that happen? Having a wife that is barren and old? How can that happen?
God: Abraham shut up! (The Lord didn't really said that, He’s endearingly gentle, you know that, hehe) just trust me Abraham, I will, and I can make it happen. My promises are not meant to be broken. Duh? Where’s your faith?
Abraham: hihi. Okay Lord. I trust you! = )
To cut the story short. Of course, the Lord is undoubtedly faithful to His promise. The Lord gave Abraham and Sarah a cute little baby boy named Isaac.= ) Here’s the scenario in the delivery room (I cant imagine what kind of delivery room during that time) but here it goes:
Baby Isaac: uuuwaaa,uuuwaaa (He’s crying,ok?)
Sarah: Welcome Baby Isaac to our world. You're a gift to us. Your Dad and I are so happy. No words can express how thankful we are to have you baby. You're so cute. You're so lovable. We promise you that we will take care of you, because you're from above. = )
Abraham: Your mom’s right. We’ll be treasuring you Baby Isaac, because the promise that God had said to me (descendants will be as many as the stars in heaven, and sand in the seashore) will surpass through you. I can't wait for you to grow. I love you son. = )
Isaac grew as an adorable and a lovable child to his parents. (by God’s grace of course) Abraham and Sarah loved Isaac so much. Abraham protected Isaac, taught him things, cared about everything about him, invested money, effort and time to him, loved him dearly. Abraham even prayed and declared daily that God’s promise will come to pass through his son, Isaac. But one night:
God: Abraham, wake up! Wake up!
Abraham: (still sleepy, but woke up of course) Yes Lord? Do You have a surprise for me? Will You give me Your promise now? Will You make Sarah preggy again? And make her give birth to twins, or triplets, or even quadruplets? Remember Your promise Lord..I will be a father of many nations. Remember Lord? Wooohooo! I'm so excited!
God: Do you love Isaac?
Abraham: That's non-negotiable Lord, I love Isaac so much. You're the One who gave him to me, and he’s going to fulfill the promise You've given me, remember? That’s why I've invested much of my time, my effort, my love, my everything just to raise him well. Well of course with the help of Your grace.
God: Oh well,that’s great. = ) Now, I want you to take Isaac, whom you love, offer him as your burnt sacrifice to me. okay?
Abraham: hahaha! You got me in there. Even in joking, You are great Lord! hahaha!
God: hahaha! You make me laugh too. hahaha! But hey, I'm not joking. I’m serious. I want you to give me Isaac. Is that clear?
Abraham: (inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled)
————————-silence——————————-
Oh well, the Bible really didn't elaborate the whole scene. But I believe, that was the most inexplicable and dramatic scenario in Abraham’s life. I pictured Abraham walked in to where Isaac was sleeping, looked into his face with much love. And..
Abraham: (with tears running through his aged face) I love you so much Isaac, but I love God more, GOODBYE ISAAC!
Abraham didn't even asked or questioned God why..What was in God’s mind? Why did He want to offer his one and only son? Why did He give Isaac and take it back again? Why Isaac?How about the promise? Abraham remained silent, obeyed and responded with a “Yes Lord “
Early the next morning, Abraham took Isaac to Mount Moriah. Here’s the scenario:
Isaac: Hey dad, what are we going to do here?
Abraham: We’re going to worship God. We are going to built an altar, and give God some burnt offering.
Isaac: But how? We do have materials in building an altar for God, but how about the offering? We didn't bring something like fruits, veggies, a lamb. Dad? How?
Abraham: (with teary eyes, looked at Isaac’s innocent face) You know son, from the day you were here with me, I have loved u. And will always love you.
But…suddenly, he bound up Isaac, laid him at the altar, he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. And then. And..
Okay, I will first cut the story. Many times I am faced with that kind of Abraham-God conversation. I am not having a hard time believing God’s promises. I mean, I believe and trust the Lord right away, because He is an all-knowing God, and He’s all powerful, that He is able to do what He just has said. Although the promise and the present situation are in the different side of the road, I'm still trusting. I just read His word, pray, listen to Him, and believe that He knows what He has been doing.
But, in giving-up-Isaac-scenario, oh-uh. oh-my. oh-no. It’s always been a very difficult task for me. Yeah, I do have a lot of Isaacs in my life. Things that I'm holding inside myself for a very long time. Things that I've been taking care of for years. Things that I think I can't live without. Things that I've invested much of my time, effort, money, emotion. Things that I used to have every day. Things that I'm comfortable with. Things that I can't just let go. Things that just a thought of giving it up, makes me want to cry. Things that I think it’s just okay. Things that I think it’s already good and tolerable. Things that make me happy & feel good enough. Things that I think that’s the promise. Things that I loved most…the things, the Isaacs, that the Lord wants me to give Him back.
In the Abraham-Isaac story, and in our own life’s story, the issue is not all about you and the things you're holding on to, you, who took care of it, who invested a lot, who gave so much effort and who loved most. The issue is all about the Lord, how you will respond and obey His instruction. Oh well, the Lord knows how much you'll be hurting, how many tears will be pouring out from your eyes. He knows that your heart will be breaking into pieces the moment He tells you to give those things up. He knew it from the very start. But why will the Lord allow it? But hey, who's the One who gave those things in the first place? The Lord of course. Maybe He just wants to have those things back, because those Isaacs make you fall away from Him. Maybe those Isaacs steal moments from you and God. Maybe you are already focusing on Isaac and the promise, and forgetting the One who has promised it. The Lord knows it’s not that easy to give up those things right away. But don't you remember that He’s the strongest, and He is able to give you strength? Don't you know that His grace and mercy are overflowing, that He is willing to give much of it? Don't you remember that He’s the greatest doctor, and can heal your hurt? Don't you know the truth that He made you, that His plan for you is already finished? That He is the author and the finisher? Don't you ever think of how much He loves you, that all the things He’s been doing is for the benefit of us? Don't you think that His ways, His plans, His timetable, His mind, are all perfect?
Just give it up. just say “ GOODBYE ISAAC”..Just look and see to what I can do to your life, far more wonderful, amazing and beautiful than you could ever dream of, that’s my promise– Jesus
Let’s go back to the story.
But…suddenly, he bound up Isaac, laid him at the altar, he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son..and then..and..
An angel of God appeared = ) and said “Wait Abraham, wait! Don't lay a hand on your son, don't you ever kill him! Now, God knew that you feared Him, and willing to obey Him whatever it takes, even if it costs you to give up your son, your one and only son”
*sigh* That was a very big relief to Abraham. He saw a ram in the thicket, took it as the burnt offering instead of his son. Abraham and Isaac embraced each other. They worshiped God. And I believe, from that experience, they loved the Lord more. = )
And do you know what happened to the promise of God to Abraham? It came to pass. And as a result, me, your mom, your dad, and you, came from Abraham’s descendants, as many as the stars in heaven and sand in the seashore. Isn't it amazing? Yes. The Lord’s really amazing = )
Do you know the story of Abraham and Isaac in the Bible? I'll briefly tell you the story (with matching paraphrases and Ayi’s own version of their conversation, hehe). Here it goes:
God: Abraham, wake up. Wake up!
Abraham: (still yawning) Yes Lord?
God: Come here quickly, let’s talk, I will tell you something that’s very important.
Abraham: Okay Lord, here I am.
God: You know what son, I have a plan, a perfect plan, I want to make you a father of all nations, I will make your descendants as many as the stars in the heaven, and as many as the sand in the seashore. Isn’t it exciting?
Abraham: (eyes that’s still sleepy suddenly opened wide) Huuuwaaat Lord? Is that true? Is that a joke? Oh I’m sorry. But Lord, how can that happen? Having a wife that is barren and old? How can that happen?
God: Abraham shut up! (The Lord didn't really said that, He’s endearingly gentle, you know that, hehe) just trust me Abraham, I will, and I can make it happen. My promises are not meant to be broken. Duh? Where’s your faith?
Abraham: hihi. Okay Lord. I trust you! = )
To cut the story short. Of course, the Lord is undoubtedly faithful to His promise. The Lord gave Abraham and Sarah a cute little baby boy named Isaac.= ) Here’s the scenario in the delivery room (I cant imagine what kind of delivery room during that time) but here it goes:
Baby Isaac: uuuwaaa,uuuwaaa (He’s crying,ok?)
Sarah: Welcome Baby Isaac to our world. You're a gift to us. Your Dad and I are so happy. No words can express how thankful we are to have you baby. You're so cute. You're so lovable. We promise you that we will take care of you, because you're from above. = )
Abraham: Your mom’s right. We’ll be treasuring you Baby Isaac, because the promise that God had said to me (descendants will be as many as the stars in heaven, and sand in the seashore) will surpass through you. I can't wait for you to grow. I love you son. = )
Isaac grew as an adorable and a lovable child to his parents. (by God’s grace of course) Abraham and Sarah loved Isaac so much. Abraham protected Isaac, taught him things, cared about everything about him, invested money, effort and time to him, loved him dearly. Abraham even prayed and declared daily that God’s promise will come to pass through his son, Isaac. But one night:
God: Abraham, wake up! Wake up!
Abraham: (still sleepy, but woke up of course) Yes Lord? Do You have a surprise for me? Will You give me Your promise now? Will You make Sarah preggy again? And make her give birth to twins, or triplets, or even quadruplets? Remember Your promise Lord..I will be a father of many nations. Remember Lord? Wooohooo! I'm so excited!
God: Do you love Isaac?
Abraham: That's non-negotiable Lord, I love Isaac so much. You're the One who gave him to me, and he’s going to fulfill the promise You've given me, remember? That’s why I've invested much of my time, my effort, my love, my everything just to raise him well. Well of course with the help of Your grace.
God: Oh well,that’s great. = ) Now, I want you to take Isaac, whom you love, offer him as your burnt sacrifice to me. okay?
Abraham: hahaha! You got me in there. Even in joking, You are great Lord! hahaha!
God: hahaha! You make me laugh too. hahaha! But hey, I'm not joking. I’m serious. I want you to give me Isaac. Is that clear?
Abraham: (inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled)
————————-silence——————————-
Oh well, the Bible really didn't elaborate the whole scene. But I believe, that was the most inexplicable and dramatic scenario in Abraham’s life. I pictured Abraham walked in to where Isaac was sleeping, looked into his face with much love. And..
Abraham: (with tears running through his aged face) I love you so much Isaac, but I love God more, GOODBYE ISAAC!
Abraham didn't even asked or questioned God why..What was in God’s mind? Why did He want to offer his one and only son? Why did He give Isaac and take it back again? Why Isaac?How about the promise? Abraham remained silent, obeyed and responded with a “Yes Lord “
Early the next morning, Abraham took Isaac to Mount Moriah. Here’s the scenario:
Isaac: Hey dad, what are we going to do here?
Abraham: We’re going to worship God. We are going to built an altar, and give God some burnt offering.
Isaac: But how? We do have materials in building an altar for God, but how about the offering? We didn't bring something like fruits, veggies, a lamb. Dad? How?
Abraham: (with teary eyes, looked at Isaac’s innocent face) You know son, from the day you were here with me, I have loved u. And will always love you.
But…suddenly, he bound up Isaac, laid him at the altar, he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. And then. And..
Okay, I will first cut the story. Many times I am faced with that kind of Abraham-God conversation. I am not having a hard time believing God’s promises. I mean, I believe and trust the Lord right away, because He is an all-knowing God, and He’s all powerful, that He is able to do what He just has said. Although the promise and the present situation are in the different side of the road, I'm still trusting. I just read His word, pray, listen to Him, and believe that He knows what He has been doing.
But, in giving-up-Isaac-scenario, oh-uh. oh-my. oh-no. It’s always been a very difficult task for me. Yeah, I do have a lot of Isaacs in my life. Things that I'm holding inside myself for a very long time. Things that I've been taking care of for years. Things that I think I can't live without. Things that I've invested much of my time, effort, money, emotion. Things that I used to have every day. Things that I'm comfortable with. Things that I can't just let go. Things that just a thought of giving it up, makes me want to cry. Things that I think it’s just okay. Things that I think it’s already good and tolerable. Things that make me happy & feel good enough. Things that I think that’s the promise. Things that I loved most…the things, the Isaacs, that the Lord wants me to give Him back.
In the Abraham-Isaac story, and in our own life’s story, the issue is not all about you and the things you're holding on to, you, who took care of it, who invested a lot, who gave so much effort and who loved most. The issue is all about the Lord, how you will respond and obey His instruction. Oh well, the Lord knows how much you'll be hurting, how many tears will be pouring out from your eyes. He knows that your heart will be breaking into pieces the moment He tells you to give those things up. He knew it from the very start. But why will the Lord allow it? But hey, who's the One who gave those things in the first place? The Lord of course. Maybe He just wants to have those things back, because those Isaacs make you fall away from Him. Maybe those Isaacs steal moments from you and God. Maybe you are already focusing on Isaac and the promise, and forgetting the One who has promised it. The Lord knows it’s not that easy to give up those things right away. But don't you remember that He’s the strongest, and He is able to give you strength? Don't you know that His grace and mercy are overflowing, that He is willing to give much of it? Don't you remember that He’s the greatest doctor, and can heal your hurt? Don't you know the truth that He made you, that His plan for you is already finished? That He is the author and the finisher? Don't you ever think of how much He loves you, that all the things He’s been doing is for the benefit of us? Don't you think that His ways, His plans, His timetable, His mind, are all perfect?
Just give it up. just say “ GOODBYE ISAAC”..Just look and see to what I can do to your life, far more wonderful, amazing and beautiful than you could ever dream of, that’s my promise– Jesus
Let’s go back to the story.
But…suddenly, he bound up Isaac, laid him at the altar, he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son..and then..and..
An angel of God appeared = ) and said “Wait Abraham, wait! Don't lay a hand on your son, don't you ever kill him! Now, God knew that you feared Him, and willing to obey Him whatever it takes, even if it costs you to give up your son, your one and only son”
*sigh* That was a very big relief to Abraham. He saw a ram in the thicket, took it as the burnt offering instead of his son. Abraham and Isaac embraced each other. They worshiped God. And I believe, from that experience, they loved the Lord more. = )
And do you know what happened to the promise of God to Abraham? It came to pass. And as a result, me, your mom, your dad, and you, came from Abraham’s descendants, as many as the stars in heaven and sand in the seashore. Isn't it amazing? Yes. The Lord’s really amazing = )
looking back with thanksgiving
August 5, 2008
That was a normal Sunday (March16, 2008), my daddy preached his sermon, we ate lunch at church, & we stayed for some church meetings.
"Pray mo na ko daddy, papasok po ako ngayon eh, pero uwi ren po ako agad". My daddy laid hands on me & prayed. I kissed him on the cheek. I waved my hand "bye!" Never thought it would be the last glimpse of my alive & very well father.
I went to office, did some payroll works. I checked on the time, it was already 6pm. I tried calling at home (I think twice), no one answered. I stayed for another hour at the office. & finally I decided to go home.
As I entered our living room, I saw my mom crying with my unconscious dad in her arms. That was an unexplainable scenario. I immediately ran to my dad’s side. The only words slipped into my lips were "daddy, si ayi to." He replied with just a groan. Tears began to fall from my eyes. We brought daddy to the hospital. My hands & feet were really cold, my toes were shaking. My tears never stopped pouring out from my eyes.
At the emergency room, the nurses pricked some needles; put some tubes, etc. to my daddy’s hands & arms. I didn’t see anything & anyone at that room. My eyes were only focused to my unconscious dad, with my crying mom & kuya. As I remember, the words I kept on saying that moment were "Lord please" At that moment, the doctor still didn’t know what happened. We stayed at the emergency room. I kept on calling the nurses every time there’s an unusual thing that was happening to my daddy. (At that time, I wanted the nurses to be transformed to heroes, so that they could rescue my dad). My mom initiated to pray for our daddy. Still unconscious, but I knew he still heard our prayer. We were crying. I kept on whispering to my daddy’s ears how much I love him, that he should wake up, because he still have many things to do. I couldn’t sleep. I kept on saying these words "Lord please"
The following morning (March 17, 2008), the doctors already transferred my dad to a private room. Medical tests were given to my daddy. I had the chance to text all my churchmates, friends, etc. to pray for my dad. I kept on crying, tears never stopped from pouring out of my eyes (now I understand the meaning of bucket of tears). Visitors came. Many of them. Thank the Lord for them. The pain & hurt inside us were somehow eased. Until the doctors came with the results. Of course it was a bad news (I think doctors never bring good news). My daddy’s life was at stake. The moment they said the cause of my daddy’s unconsciousness (I won’t elaborate anymore) and where would it lead. That was a heart breaking moment. It’s like the world weighed on our shoulders. Of course, tears burst out from our eyes again.
My daddy lasted in that private room for almost 5hrs, and he needed to be transferred again to intensive care unit. Respirators were already put to my daddy’s body, in order for him to breathe. Many visitors came again. As in many. Churchmates. Friends. Colleagues. Neighbors. Relatives. They somehow ease the pain inside us. But when night approached, it was like a never ending night. So dark. So lonely. I couldn’t sleep. I lost my appetite. I hardly think that time.
In my mind, I kept on conversing with the Lord. There was a great battle inside me. I kept on saying to Him "Lord, please speak to me, even a piece of word, to assure my daddy’s life" As hours passed by, I’m beginning to be confused on what to ask the Lord. Whether to spare my dad’s life, to still hold on, to still hope for his recovery, or to give my dad’s life to the Lord’s hands. I kept on asking the Lord "Lord please speak to me."
The Lord remained silent. He remained quiet. He never spoke a word.
All I can feel in that moment of my life was the Lord’s ever loving presence. He gave me peace Peace that passeth all understanding. I didn’t hear anything from Him. But I felt His grace & mercy that was overflowing to us. Total dependency to the Lord was one of the things He taught me. To sing praises despite of so much hurt; to be thankful for His goodness & faithfulness; to trust the Lord, even if I didn’t have any idea what He’s been doing; to accept His will, even if I didn’t understand it; that His ways and thoughts are much higher than mine; and to let His will be done.
My daddy already went home with our loving God (March 20, 2008) And I’m sure he’s already enjoying there. And I’m so much happy with that = ) I’m thanking the Lord for He allowed me to have 22 colorful years with my daddy. For me, he’s still the greatest dad in the whole world (I kept on telling him that when he’s still alive) No grudges. No questions. Just a grateful heart ^_^
The Lord gives. The Lord takes, may His name still to be praised. Job 1:20
That was a normal Sunday (March16, 2008), my daddy preached his sermon, we ate lunch at church, & we stayed for some church meetings.
"Pray mo na ko daddy, papasok po ako ngayon eh, pero uwi ren po ako agad". My daddy laid hands on me & prayed. I kissed him on the cheek. I waved my hand "bye!" Never thought it would be the last glimpse of my alive & very well father.
I went to office, did some payroll works. I checked on the time, it was already 6pm. I tried calling at home (I think twice), no one answered. I stayed for another hour at the office. & finally I decided to go home.
As I entered our living room, I saw my mom crying with my unconscious dad in her arms. That was an unexplainable scenario. I immediately ran to my dad’s side. The only words slipped into my lips were "daddy, si ayi to." He replied with just a groan. Tears began to fall from my eyes. We brought daddy to the hospital. My hands & feet were really cold, my toes were shaking. My tears never stopped pouring out from my eyes.
At the emergency room, the nurses pricked some needles; put some tubes, etc. to my daddy’s hands & arms. I didn’t see anything & anyone at that room. My eyes were only focused to my unconscious dad, with my crying mom & kuya. As I remember, the words I kept on saying that moment were "Lord please" At that moment, the doctor still didn’t know what happened. We stayed at the emergency room. I kept on calling the nurses every time there’s an unusual thing that was happening to my daddy. (At that time, I wanted the nurses to be transformed to heroes, so that they could rescue my dad). My mom initiated to pray for our daddy. Still unconscious, but I knew he still heard our prayer. We were crying. I kept on whispering to my daddy’s ears how much I love him, that he should wake up, because he still have many things to do. I couldn’t sleep. I kept on saying these words "Lord please"
The following morning (March 17, 2008), the doctors already transferred my dad to a private room. Medical tests were given to my daddy. I had the chance to text all my churchmates, friends, etc. to pray for my dad. I kept on crying, tears never stopped from pouring out of my eyes (now I understand the meaning of bucket of tears). Visitors came. Many of them. Thank the Lord for them. The pain & hurt inside us were somehow eased. Until the doctors came with the results. Of course it was a bad news (I think doctors never bring good news). My daddy’s life was at stake. The moment they said the cause of my daddy’s unconsciousness (I won’t elaborate anymore) and where would it lead. That was a heart breaking moment. It’s like the world weighed on our shoulders. Of course, tears burst out from our eyes again.
My daddy lasted in that private room for almost 5hrs, and he needed to be transferred again to intensive care unit. Respirators were already put to my daddy’s body, in order for him to breathe. Many visitors came again. As in many. Churchmates. Friends. Colleagues. Neighbors. Relatives. They somehow ease the pain inside us. But when night approached, it was like a never ending night. So dark. So lonely. I couldn’t sleep. I lost my appetite. I hardly think that time.
In my mind, I kept on conversing with the Lord. There was a great battle inside me. I kept on saying to Him "Lord, please speak to me, even a piece of word, to assure my daddy’s life" As hours passed by, I’m beginning to be confused on what to ask the Lord. Whether to spare my dad’s life, to still hold on, to still hope for his recovery, or to give my dad’s life to the Lord’s hands. I kept on asking the Lord "Lord please speak to me."
The Lord remained silent. He remained quiet. He never spoke a word.
All I can feel in that moment of my life was the Lord’s ever loving presence. He gave me peace Peace that passeth all understanding. I didn’t hear anything from Him. But I felt His grace & mercy that was overflowing to us. Total dependency to the Lord was one of the things He taught me. To sing praises despite of so much hurt; to be thankful for His goodness & faithfulness; to trust the Lord, even if I didn’t have any idea what He’s been doing; to accept His will, even if I didn’t understand it; that His ways and thoughts are much higher than mine; and to let His will be done.
My daddy already went home with our loving God (March 20, 2008) And I’m sure he’s already enjoying there. And I’m so much happy with that = ) I’m thanking the Lord for He allowed me to have 22 colorful years with my daddy. For me, he’s still the greatest dad in the whole world (I kept on telling him that when he’s still alive) No grudges. No questions. Just a grateful heart ^_^
The Lord gives. The Lord takes, may His name still to be praised. Job 1:20
i said everything! (without the cheesy part)
August 7, 2008
Ayi: Lord?
Jesus: Yes Ayi dear?
Ayi: = ‘(
Jesus: I know. I can see you from here. You know what sweetie, I can’t make you whole, if you don’t give me all the pieces.
Ayi: But Lord, I thought I’ve already given you everything?
Jesus: No. You didn’t. You do still have reservations to yourself. & that’s what makes you hurtful. Sweetie, when I say "GIVE ME EVERYTHING" it’s just like a puzzle game. I can’t make the whole picture if some pieces are missing.
Ayi: But how Lord? How can I hand you all the pieces? If some of them were already gone? I don’t even know where to find them. I know it’s my fault, I’ve entrusted some of them to somebody else, numerous times. And they just played with it and then threw it in the air; ripped it (I also believe that the color of some of them were already faded) not knowing how important it is to complete my big picture. = (Will it be whole again?
Jesus: Sweetie, are you forgetting? That’s when my grace comes in. I’ll help you find it all again. But this time, obey me completely.
Ayi: Yes Lord.
Jesus: This is my instruction: when we already found everything, don’t recycle, don’t try to restore the color or the shape. Never ever look at it again. Just hand it to me right away.
Ayi: But Lord I don’t think it’s easy to find those missing ones.
Jesus: Yeah it’s not that easy, because you know what? That’s just a consequence of what you’ve done. You made it difficult. But sweetie, I do love you. I can make it easier, if you’ll just cooperate with me.
Ayi: Okay Lord. Uhmm. Can I ask You something? What are you going to do with the people who threw my puzzle pieces? Will You punish them? = D
Jesus: = D Naughty ayi. It’s a secret. It’s a thing you don’t need to find out. It’s a dealing between Me & them.
Ayi: hehe. I’m just asking. Okay Lord. Uhmm. One last question? When I’ve already
given You all the pieces, I’m sure You will make it whole again, are You going to
keep it? Or are You going to show it to me?
Jesus: I won’t give it to you = p Oh well, but of course I’ll show it to you, maybe a glimpse, hehe. But it’s Mine already, My property. Do you know where will I put it? Here in My home so that angels & everybody here can see the beauty of your big picture sweetie = )
Ayi: Hihi. Okay Lord, no more questions. You’re truly amazing. You’ve turned my loneliness once again to joy. Sorry for everything. I can’t afford to lose You, because You’re all I’ve got. Super thanks! Everything is clear now. I love You. I’ll just obey You.
Jesus: As I’ve said. Give me everything. No reservations. Why don’t you just raise your white flag Ayi? You’re cornered by Me, Me, Me & Me. hehe. You have nowhere to go. Just in My loving arms = ) Give me all the pieces, okay? You’ll see, You’ll be amazed of the indescribable whole picture I’ve made just for you. Because I’ve loved you & will always love you.. = )
Ayi: Lord?
Jesus: Yes Ayi dear?
Ayi: = ‘(
Jesus: I know. I can see you from here. You know what sweetie, I can’t make you whole, if you don’t give me all the pieces.
Ayi: But Lord, I thought I’ve already given you everything?
Jesus: No. You didn’t. You do still have reservations to yourself. & that’s what makes you hurtful. Sweetie, when I say "GIVE ME EVERYTHING" it’s just like a puzzle game. I can’t make the whole picture if some pieces are missing.
Ayi: But how Lord? How can I hand you all the pieces? If some of them were already gone? I don’t even know where to find them. I know it’s my fault, I’ve entrusted some of them to somebody else, numerous times. And they just played with it and then threw it in the air; ripped it (I also believe that the color of some of them were already faded) not knowing how important it is to complete my big picture. = (Will it be whole again?
Jesus: Sweetie, are you forgetting? That’s when my grace comes in. I’ll help you find it all again. But this time, obey me completely.
Ayi: Yes Lord.
Jesus: This is my instruction: when we already found everything, don’t recycle, don’t try to restore the color or the shape. Never ever look at it again. Just hand it to me right away.
Ayi: But Lord I don’t think it’s easy to find those missing ones.
Jesus: Yeah it’s not that easy, because you know what? That’s just a consequence of what you’ve done. You made it difficult. But sweetie, I do love you. I can make it easier, if you’ll just cooperate with me.
Ayi: Okay Lord. Uhmm. Can I ask You something? What are you going to do with the people who threw my puzzle pieces? Will You punish them? = D
Jesus: = D Naughty ayi. It’s a secret. It’s a thing you don’t need to find out. It’s a dealing between Me & them.
Ayi: hehe. I’m just asking. Okay Lord. Uhmm. One last question? When I’ve already
given You all the pieces, I’m sure You will make it whole again, are You going to
keep it? Or are You going to show it to me?
Jesus: I won’t give it to you = p Oh well, but of course I’ll show it to you, maybe a glimpse, hehe. But it’s Mine already, My property. Do you know where will I put it? Here in My home so that angels & everybody here can see the beauty of your big picture sweetie = )
Ayi: Hihi. Okay Lord, no more questions. You’re truly amazing. You’ve turned my loneliness once again to joy. Sorry for everything. I can’t afford to lose You, because You’re all I’ve got. Super thanks! Everything is clear now. I love You. I’ll just obey You.
Jesus: As I’ve said. Give me everything. No reservations. Why don’t you just raise your white flag Ayi? You’re cornered by Me, Me, Me & Me. hehe. You have nowhere to go. Just in My loving arms = ) Give me all the pieces, okay? You’ll see, You’ll be amazed of the indescribable whole picture I’ve made just for you. Because I’ve loved you & will always love you.. = )
i said everything!
August 3, 2008
Ayi: Lord?
Jesus: Yes Ayi dear?
Ayi: = ‘(
Jesus: I know. I can see you from here. You know what sweetie, I can’t make you whole, if you don’t give me all the pieces.
Ayi: But Lord, I thought I’ve already given you everything?
Jesus: No. You didn’t. You do still have reservations to yourself. & that’s what makes you hurtful. Sweetie, when I say "GIVE ME EVERYTHING" it’s just like a puzzle game. I can’t make the whole picture if some pieces are missing.
Ayi: But how Lord? How can I hand you all the pieces? If some of them were already gone? I don’t even know where to find them. I know it’s my fault, I’ve entrusted some of them to somebody else, numerous times. And they just played with it and then threw it in the air; ripped it (I also believe that the color of some of them were already faded) not knowing how important it is to complete my big picture. = (Will it be whole again?
Jesus: Sweetie, are you forgetting? That’s when my grace comes in. I’ll help you find it all again. But this time, obey me completely.
Ayi: Yes Lord.
Jesus: This is my instruction: when we already found everything, don’t recycle, don’t try to restore the color or the shape. Never ever look at it again. Just hand it to me right away.
Ayi: But Lord I don’t think it’s easy to find those missing ones.
Jesus: Yeah it’s not that easy, because you know what? That’s just a consequence of what you’ve done. You made it difficult. But sweetie, I do love you. I can make it easier, if you’ll just cooperate with me.
Ayi: Okay Lord. Uhmm. Can I ask You something? What are you going to do with the people who threw my puzzle pieces? Will You punish them? = D
Jesus: = D Naughty ayi. It’s a secret. It’s a thing you don’t need to find out. It’s a dealing between Me & them.
Ayi: hehe. I’m just asking. Okay Lord. Uhmm. One last question? When I’ve already given you all the pieces, I’m sure You will make it whole again, are You going to keep it? Or are You going to show it to me? Uhmm. Will You also give a copy of it to somebody else? hihi.
Jesus: Hmmm. Let’s just say that the person you’re pertaining to has quite the same struggles with you. I’ll first complete his puzzle too. But Ayi, I’m reminding you. I won’t reveal all of My plans for you now, if there’s truly "somebody else" hehe. You’re not smarter than Me. I know what’s on your mind..= )
Ayi: Hihi. Okay Lord, no more questions. You’re truly amazing. You’ve turned my loneliness once again to joy. Sorry for everything. I can’t afford to lose You, because You’re all I’ve got. Super thanks! Everything is clear now. I love You. I’ll just obey You.
Jesus: As I’ve said. Give me everything. No reservations. Why don’t you just raise your white flag Ayi? You’re cornered by Me, Me, Me & Me. hehe. You have nowhere to go. Just in My loving arms = ) Give me all the pieces, okay? You’ll see, You’ll be amazed of the indescribable whole picture I’ve made just for you. Because I’ve loved you & will always love you.. = )
Ayi: Lord?
Jesus: Yes Ayi dear?
Ayi: = ‘(
Jesus: I know. I can see you from here. You know what sweetie, I can’t make you whole, if you don’t give me all the pieces.
Ayi: But Lord, I thought I’ve already given you everything?
Jesus: No. You didn’t. You do still have reservations to yourself. & that’s what makes you hurtful. Sweetie, when I say "GIVE ME EVERYTHING" it’s just like a puzzle game. I can’t make the whole picture if some pieces are missing.
Ayi: But how Lord? How can I hand you all the pieces? If some of them were already gone? I don’t even know where to find them. I know it’s my fault, I’ve entrusted some of them to somebody else, numerous times. And they just played with it and then threw it in the air; ripped it (I also believe that the color of some of them were already faded) not knowing how important it is to complete my big picture. = (Will it be whole again?
Jesus: Sweetie, are you forgetting? That’s when my grace comes in. I’ll help you find it all again. But this time, obey me completely.
Ayi: Yes Lord.
Jesus: This is my instruction: when we already found everything, don’t recycle, don’t try to restore the color or the shape. Never ever look at it again. Just hand it to me right away.
Ayi: But Lord I don’t think it’s easy to find those missing ones.
Jesus: Yeah it’s not that easy, because you know what? That’s just a consequence of what you’ve done. You made it difficult. But sweetie, I do love you. I can make it easier, if you’ll just cooperate with me.
Ayi: Okay Lord. Uhmm. Can I ask You something? What are you going to do with the people who threw my puzzle pieces? Will You punish them? = D
Jesus: = D Naughty ayi. It’s a secret. It’s a thing you don’t need to find out. It’s a dealing between Me & them.
Ayi: hehe. I’m just asking. Okay Lord. Uhmm. One last question? When I’ve already given you all the pieces, I’m sure You will make it whole again, are You going to keep it? Or are You going to show it to me? Uhmm. Will You also give a copy of it to somebody else? hihi.
Jesus: Hmmm. Let’s just say that the person you’re pertaining to has quite the same struggles with you. I’ll first complete his puzzle too. But Ayi, I’m reminding you. I won’t reveal all of My plans for you now, if there’s truly "somebody else" hehe. You’re not smarter than Me. I know what’s on your mind..= )
Ayi: Hihi. Okay Lord, no more questions. You’re truly amazing. You’ve turned my loneliness once again to joy. Sorry for everything. I can’t afford to lose You, because You’re all I’ve got. Super thanks! Everything is clear now. I love You. I’ll just obey You.
Jesus: As I’ve said. Give me everything. No reservations. Why don’t you just raise your white flag Ayi? You’re cornered by Me, Me, Me & Me. hehe. You have nowhere to go. Just in My loving arms = ) Give me all the pieces, okay? You’ll see, You’ll be amazed of the indescribable whole picture I’ve made just for you. Because I’ve loved you & will always love you.. = )
loving the UNLOVABLE
March 2, 2008
Imagine an environment wherein you’re surrounded with very nice people. People who are easy to get along with, positive thinkers, encouragers, generous and cheerful. There’s no reason not to give away your love to them easily, because they’re lovable & adorable. Wow! What a perfect world we have!
I said, just imagine. Because in reality, well, the other way around. And the truth is, we’re surrounded with unlovable people. I’ll just site some of them:
- The insecure – they’re the ones who insult you the most from head to toe. Physically (your hair, your figure, your fashion statement, everything!); intellectually (your common sense, intellectual capability, educational attainment, etc); morally & spiritually (your attitude & character, your faith, your belief, your spiritual stand). They say bad things about your whole being because actually they envy you. To hide the insecurity inside them, they will just insult you. Their shortcomings, to justify it, they will throw it to you. Come’ on!
- The unappreciated - "unappreciated people won’t & will never appreciate other people" Because you can’t give what you don’t receive. They won’t appreciate the things they like about you, but they will just imitate it later on. That’s it.
- The boastful - everybody hates these kinds of people. "Some people tend to boast on the things that they actually don’t have or possess" You don’t need to be overly proud of the things you have because the people around you will notice it right away.
- The self-proclaimed - these are the ones who don’t acknowledge other people. "akology" is their course (hehe). They’re only familiar with words like I, my, me, mine, myself. They’re not interested with other people’s story. They’re just interested with their own stories. They think they are the greatest in all aspects. Woohoo!
- The negative ones - "I don’t think I can make it; I think it won’t happen; I doubt; I don’t think so” Come’ on! This people can have the most influence in a group. I don’t know why. Maybe because, it’s much easier being pessimist rather than being optimist. They’re very good in negating, they don’t find even a bit of positive result in everything. I salute them. haha!
- The contradicting ones - Agreeing (yes) is not in their vocabulary. Even if you’re on the right track or side, they will contradict you right away! They think that they are always correct. If they don’t like your idea, ask for theirs, & notice them, they don’t actually know what to answer. If you’re on the north side, they’re on the south side. Yeah, that’s them. Tsk.
- The story makers - Oh well, I think these are the ones who’ll excel in writing scripts. They have a wide imagination. They have futuristic powers. They can advance your thinking, haha! They can change the flow & what’s really happening around. They’re not trustworthy. Once you shared your story, believe me, it will have another interpretation. And prepare to hear the worst things about you.
- The hot-tempered, heartless - Oh-no! They are like bulldogs. Don’t you ever dare touch them or else you’re a dead meat! They don’t know how to laugh or even smile. They own a face with eyebrows always meeting at the center. They’re full of angst & anger. Poor ones.
- The plastic & the ones who possess different faces - Best actors & actresses. They can make you believe that he or she is on your side. They are back fighters. But they are actually cowards, they can’t voice out what they really feel inside.
- The approval addicts - "ksp" hehe. They want the whole world to appreciate them. What they’re wearing, their accomplishments, etc. "you can please everybody" is their motto in life. They will force you to appreciate them. hay.
- The blaming ones - They will try to escape what they have done wrong & blame it to you as if they’re innocent. They are slow in admitting their own mistakes.
Are they familiar? Yeah! We have no choice but to deal with these kinds of people. We tend to be irritated with them & eventually be like them. And we’re also hurting inside, we’re affected somehow the way they treat us.
But according to the Bible "loving your neighbors as you love yourself" the Lord didn’t speak here to love the lovable people (the ones who are nice) but to love the capital U-N-L-O-V-A-B-L-E people (as I’ve sited earlier) Yes. It’s really hard & difficult. But look at Jesus. We too, are very unlovable & unworthy. But He chose to offer His life to us because He loves us. & He wants us to do the same. We don’t need to be crucified, in order to express it. But to simply deal with them just what Jesus has commanded us. To love them.
The truth is .The people (I’ve sited earlier) are the ones who have the least attention, appreciation, security, & love in their lives. They are actually the poor & wretched ones . The Lord given us much of His love, & He wants us to give it forward to other people. Overflowing love & appreciation should be extended to those who are lacking of it. It is not that easy, but the Lord’s grace is sufficient for us to do it.
Why don’t you just give them a smile, when they say negative things about you? Why don’t you just forgive them? Why don’t you just remain silent instead of exchanging hurtful words with them? Why don’t you just understand them (because actually they don’t also understand themselves)? Why don’t you just give them Jesus? = )
Loving the lovable is but an automatic, normal & common thing (no challenge at all). Would you settle for it? But the Lord wants us to do uncommon & perfect will in our lives. It’s loving the U-N-L-O-V-A-B-L-E.. ^_^
Imagine an environment wherein you’re surrounded with very nice people. People who are easy to get along with, positive thinkers, encouragers, generous and cheerful. There’s no reason not to give away your love to them easily, because they’re lovable & adorable. Wow! What a perfect world we have!
I said, just imagine. Because in reality, well, the other way around. And the truth is, we’re surrounded with unlovable people. I’ll just site some of them:
- The insecure – they’re the ones who insult you the most from head to toe. Physically (your hair, your figure, your fashion statement, everything!); intellectually (your common sense, intellectual capability, educational attainment, etc); morally & spiritually (your attitude & character, your faith, your belief, your spiritual stand). They say bad things about your whole being because actually they envy you. To hide the insecurity inside them, they will just insult you. Their shortcomings, to justify it, they will throw it to you. Come’ on!
- The unappreciated - "unappreciated people won’t & will never appreciate other people" Because you can’t give what you don’t receive. They won’t appreciate the things they like about you, but they will just imitate it later on. That’s it.
- The boastful - everybody hates these kinds of people. "Some people tend to boast on the things that they actually don’t have or possess" You don’t need to be overly proud of the things you have because the people around you will notice it right away.
- The self-proclaimed - these are the ones who don’t acknowledge other people. "akology" is their course (hehe). They’re only familiar with words like I, my, me, mine, myself. They’re not interested with other people’s story. They’re just interested with their own stories. They think they are the greatest in all aspects. Woohoo!
- The negative ones - "I don’t think I can make it; I think it won’t happen; I doubt; I don’t think so” Come’ on! This people can have the most influence in a group. I don’t know why. Maybe because, it’s much easier being pessimist rather than being optimist. They’re very good in negating, they don’t find even a bit of positive result in everything. I salute them. haha!
- The contradicting ones - Agreeing (yes) is not in their vocabulary. Even if you’re on the right track or side, they will contradict you right away! They think that they are always correct. If they don’t like your idea, ask for theirs, & notice them, they don’t actually know what to answer. If you’re on the north side, they’re on the south side. Yeah, that’s them. Tsk.
- The story makers - Oh well, I think these are the ones who’ll excel in writing scripts. They have a wide imagination. They have futuristic powers. They can advance your thinking, haha! They can change the flow & what’s really happening around. They’re not trustworthy. Once you shared your story, believe me, it will have another interpretation. And prepare to hear the worst things about you.
- The hot-tempered, heartless - Oh-no! They are like bulldogs. Don’t you ever dare touch them or else you’re a dead meat! They don’t know how to laugh or even smile. They own a face with eyebrows always meeting at the center. They’re full of angst & anger. Poor ones.
- The plastic & the ones who possess different faces - Best actors & actresses. They can make you believe that he or she is on your side. They are back fighters. But they are actually cowards, they can’t voice out what they really feel inside.
- The approval addicts - "ksp" hehe. They want the whole world to appreciate them. What they’re wearing, their accomplishments, etc. "you can please everybody" is their motto in life. They will force you to appreciate them. hay.
- The blaming ones - They will try to escape what they have done wrong & blame it to you as if they’re innocent. They are slow in admitting their own mistakes.
Are they familiar? Yeah! We have no choice but to deal with these kinds of people. We tend to be irritated with them & eventually be like them. And we’re also hurting inside, we’re affected somehow the way they treat us.
But according to the Bible "loving your neighbors as you love yourself" the Lord didn’t speak here to love the lovable people (the ones who are nice) but to love the capital U-N-L-O-V-A-B-L-E people (as I’ve sited earlier) Yes. It’s really hard & difficult. But look at Jesus. We too, are very unlovable & unworthy. But He chose to offer His life to us because He loves us. & He wants us to do the same. We don’t need to be crucified, in order to express it. But to simply deal with them just what Jesus has commanded us. To love them.
The truth is .The people (I’ve sited earlier) are the ones who have the least attention, appreciation, security, & love in their lives. They are actually the poor & wretched ones . The Lord given us much of His love, & He wants us to give it forward to other people. Overflowing love & appreciation should be extended to those who are lacking of it. It is not that easy, but the Lord’s grace is sufficient for us to do it.
Why don’t you just give them a smile, when they say negative things about you? Why don’t you just forgive them? Why don’t you just remain silent instead of exchanging hurtful words with them? Why don’t you just understand them (because actually they don’t also understand themselves)? Why don’t you just give them Jesus? = )
Loving the lovable is but an automatic, normal & common thing (no challenge at all). Would you settle for it? But the Lord wants us to do uncommon & perfect will in our lives. It’s loving the U-N-L-O-V-A-B-L-E.. ^_^
love matters
February 27, 2008
Dearest Hannah,
I can see you from here. I can see how you easily give up your heart to anyone. How you give in to your emotion & jump into conclusion easily. Look at what you’re doing to yourself. I can see that you’re just hurting inside every time you give in.
Do u know that every time you’re hurting, I can also feel it? Even much greater, sweetie. I have given you a complete, healthy, nourished & unwounded heart. I want you to take care of it. Not to give it that easy to someone who’s not for you. Your heart is neither a punching bag nor a worthless ball that keeps on tossing to & fro, or bouncing from one to the other. Come’ on sweetie. It’s not just like that.
I know you’ve gone numerous hurtful emotional experiences. Same old experiences that broke your heart into pieces. But remember I’ve already put those heartaches away. I’ve already cleansed your heart wounds. I’ve already made that whole again. So please don’t bring those things back again to your heart. My dear, I want you to cooperate with Me, with the healing process. And please, don’t cause any heart aches again by giving in to your weak emotions over & over again to a person I haven’t given you.
Refrain from searching, looking & assuming for the right man in your life. Focus on being the right woman. And besides, I’m not yet contented at how you relate to your daddy & older brothers. Remember? They are your practice ground. Don’t mind the people around you, about the pressure regarding your love life (that you need to have it now or else it won’t come). For them, giving up your purity is just a "usual & normal thing". Come’ on! I don’t want you to settle for ordinary, usual, normal, mediocre things. I want you to go far beyond the ordinary. So I can see the difference between you and the world. Go against the flow sweetie. Oh well, they’re not the ones who will give you the best love story anyway. So listen to Me only.
Fix your eyes on me Hannah. I want you to trust Me wholly, fully, completely & absolutely. Don’t you worry. The man I’ve created for you is just around. He won’t replace you with any other girls out there. He’s just busy doing things in life for Me. So don’t ruin it, okay? I don’t need to make him fall in love with you, because I’ve already placed that love in his heart, & awaken it when My time comes, not yours. And again, I know that you’re not yet prepared in entering a relationship. Come’ on! I know you inside out.
I love you and you are worthy of true love. Why don’t you just wait? Oh well, you do have a choice, I’ve given you freewill. But look at yourself every time you do things on your own. Bucket of tears. And I’m also hurting. My timing is perfect, no advances, no delays, just perfect! Well sweetie, you just have to have me. Because I’m all you need. I’m your everything. In only Me, you can find true joy and contentment. And you know I’ll take away your desire little by little, and replace it with my desire that will actually give you the best & perfect things.
All you have to do now is to wait and get busy. Busy in doing My will for your life. Excel in all areas of your life, in your career (still have many perfect plans awaiting), family (be a good girl to your parents, and your older brothers; learn household chores), to your friends (enjoy your single life, win companions) to yourself (stay pretty & healthy) and your service with Me (your disciples, your cellgroup members, you still have a lot to do with them!) and especially your relationship with Me. Get closer so that you can be sensitive to My instructions.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ll wait for the man of your life. It’s not the issue here sweetie. It doesn’t matter Hannah. Just trust ME!
You’ll see when you choose to follow me. Aw. Incomparable, uncontainable & inexplicable things will happen in your love story. Far beyond that you could ever imagine. Excited? Me too. So better trust Me completely! I love you always.
Your Loving Father,
Jesus
Dearest Hannah,
I can see you from here. I can see how you easily give up your heart to anyone. How you give in to your emotion & jump into conclusion easily. Look at what you’re doing to yourself. I can see that you’re just hurting inside every time you give in.
Do u know that every time you’re hurting, I can also feel it? Even much greater, sweetie. I have given you a complete, healthy, nourished & unwounded heart. I want you to take care of it. Not to give it that easy to someone who’s not for you. Your heart is neither a punching bag nor a worthless ball that keeps on tossing to & fro, or bouncing from one to the other. Come’ on sweetie. It’s not just like that.
I know you’ve gone numerous hurtful emotional experiences. Same old experiences that broke your heart into pieces. But remember I’ve already put those heartaches away. I’ve already cleansed your heart wounds. I’ve already made that whole again. So please don’t bring those things back again to your heart. My dear, I want you to cooperate with Me, with the healing process. And please, don’t cause any heart aches again by giving in to your weak emotions over & over again to a person I haven’t given you.
Refrain from searching, looking & assuming for the right man in your life. Focus on being the right woman. And besides, I’m not yet contented at how you relate to your daddy & older brothers. Remember? They are your practice ground. Don’t mind the people around you, about the pressure regarding your love life (that you need to have it now or else it won’t come). For them, giving up your purity is just a "usual & normal thing". Come’ on! I don’t want you to settle for ordinary, usual, normal, mediocre things. I want you to go far beyond the ordinary. So I can see the difference between you and the world. Go against the flow sweetie. Oh well, they’re not the ones who will give you the best love story anyway. So listen to Me only.
Fix your eyes on me Hannah. I want you to trust Me wholly, fully, completely & absolutely. Don’t you worry. The man I’ve created for you is just around. He won’t replace you with any other girls out there. He’s just busy doing things in life for Me. So don’t ruin it, okay? I don’t need to make him fall in love with you, because I’ve already placed that love in his heart, & awaken it when My time comes, not yours. And again, I know that you’re not yet prepared in entering a relationship. Come’ on! I know you inside out.
I love you and you are worthy of true love. Why don’t you just wait? Oh well, you do have a choice, I’ve given you freewill. But look at yourself every time you do things on your own. Bucket of tears. And I’m also hurting. My timing is perfect, no advances, no delays, just perfect! Well sweetie, you just have to have me. Because I’m all you need. I’m your everything. In only Me, you can find true joy and contentment. And you know I’ll take away your desire little by little, and replace it with my desire that will actually give you the best & perfect things.
All you have to do now is to wait and get busy. Busy in doing My will for your life. Excel in all areas of your life, in your career (still have many perfect plans awaiting), family (be a good girl to your parents, and your older brothers; learn household chores), to your friends (enjoy your single life, win companions) to yourself (stay pretty & healthy) and your service with Me (your disciples, your cellgroup members, you still have a lot to do with them!) and especially your relationship with Me. Get closer so that you can be sensitive to My instructions.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ll wait for the man of your life. It’s not the issue here sweetie. It doesn’t matter Hannah. Just trust ME!
You’ll see when you choose to follow me. Aw. Incomparable, uncontainable & inexplicable things will happen in your love story. Far beyond that you could ever imagine. Excited? Me too. So better trust Me completely! I love you always.
Your Loving Father,
Jesus
running away. running back
January 16, 2008
It feels like I’m choked. I’m running out of breath. I’m running out of oxygen. Feels like the water stops from flowing. It feels like dry, cold, thirsty, hungry, tired, exhausted, incomplete, and lonely. It feels like I’m alone, drowning, confused, wretched, pauper, naked, broken, and empty.
It's when I’m running away from my father. Jesus.
I’ve been so busy with selfish things in my life lately. Caught up, occupied, bombarded & fed up by the things in this world (work, negative things, negative people, selfish thoughts, confusing future plans, etc.) Little by little, I’m allowing myself to run away from being close to the Lord (without knowing it) and I’m foolishly justifying it by saying to myself "Lord, malapit pa naman ako dba?" even though my acts didn’t say so. I still have time with Him but He’s the last resort. It’s when everything’s done or when I’m already tired and helpless.
Until the enemy, the snake, the python, bit by bit also, tightens its body, for me to run out of oxygen. Out of breath until nothing is left.
But the Lord loves me so much. He forgave me. He accepted me again. He didn’t allow me to fall away from Him completely. That He still rescued me from the enemy. He restored me once again from drowning. He took me back from my world and placed me again to His world. He brought back the breath of life. He clothed me. He wrapped me in His loving arms again. Showed me once again His perfect will for my life. He called me His own daughter. He gave me water & food. Allowed me to rest in His presence again. In Him, I gained strength. Felt unending, inexplicable & incomparable love, grace & mercy.
And now, I’m running back again to my father. Jesus. = )
It feels like I’m choked. I’m running out of breath. I’m running out of oxygen. Feels like the water stops from flowing. It feels like dry, cold, thirsty, hungry, tired, exhausted, incomplete, and lonely. It feels like I’m alone, drowning, confused, wretched, pauper, naked, broken, and empty.
It's when I’m running away from my father. Jesus.
I’ve been so busy with selfish things in my life lately. Caught up, occupied, bombarded & fed up by the things in this world (work, negative things, negative people, selfish thoughts, confusing future plans, etc.) Little by little, I’m allowing myself to run away from being close to the Lord (without knowing it) and I’m foolishly justifying it by saying to myself "Lord, malapit pa naman ako dba?" even though my acts didn’t say so. I still have time with Him but He’s the last resort. It’s when everything’s done or when I’m already tired and helpless.
Until the enemy, the snake, the python, bit by bit also, tightens its body, for me to run out of oxygen. Out of breath until nothing is left.
But the Lord loves me so much. He forgave me. He accepted me again. He didn’t allow me to fall away from Him completely. That He still rescued me from the enemy. He restored me once again from drowning. He took me back from my world and placed me again to His world. He brought back the breath of life. He clothed me. He wrapped me in His loving arms again. Showed me once again His perfect will for my life. He called me His own daughter. He gave me water & food. Allowed me to rest in His presence again. In Him, I gained strength. Felt unending, inexplicable & incomparable love, grace & mercy.
And now, I’m running back again to my father. Jesus. = )
piece by piece
November 24, 2007
"When the Lord leads you to brokenness, He’ll take away everything in you. Piece by piece until nothing is left but Him.”
I thought it was fine already after a heart-breaking battle. I already moved on. I’ve given to Jesus my desire to love someone again. I’ve been busy serving Him. I’ve been blessed to what He has been doing to my life right now.
Until I’ve made the decision that caused a heart-breaking battle once again. = ‘(
The cost of following God is never easy. When you give your life to Him, it’s as if you allow Him to take full control over it. What makes you happy. Your good plans in your life. Your desires. Your needs & wants.
He’ll take it all away. Piece by piece. Bit by bit. Lil by lil. Hurtful & painful, isn’t it? Yes. But you know why? Because He wants to replace it with what makes Him happy that will actually bring you joy. With His good & perfect plans in your life that is much bigger & greater than yours. With His desires that will give you hope and a future.
You can never go wrong when you choose 2 obey & leave everything in the Lord’s hands. He’ll never leave you empty handed and wounded. He’ll take the pieces and make it whole again, not the way you want it, but the way He wants you to be. = )
"When the Lord leads you to brokenness, He’ll take away everything in you. Piece by piece until nothing is left but Him.”
I thought it was fine already after a heart-breaking battle. I already moved on. I’ve given to Jesus my desire to love someone again. I’ve been busy serving Him. I’ve been blessed to what He has been doing to my life right now.
Until I’ve made the decision that caused a heart-breaking battle once again. = ‘(
The cost of following God is never easy. When you give your life to Him, it’s as if you allow Him to take full control over it. What makes you happy. Your good plans in your life. Your desires. Your needs & wants.
He’ll take it all away. Piece by piece. Bit by bit. Lil by lil. Hurtful & painful, isn’t it? Yes. But you know why? Because He wants to replace it with what makes Him happy that will actually bring you joy. With His good & perfect plans in your life that is much bigger & greater than yours. With His desires that will give you hope and a future.
You can never go wrong when you choose 2 obey & leave everything in the Lord’s hands. He’ll never leave you empty handed and wounded. He’ll take the pieces and make it whole again, not the way you want it, but the way He wants you to be. = )
it's all because of love
July 22, 2007
This afternoon, after worship service, I went to our outreach, with my beloved anaks (I mean cellgroup, hehe) We visited there yung mga youth na nakaattend last summer youthcamp na currently inactive na. Iba yung naging feeling ko. I felt the burden. Because I admit it, fault ko din kung bakit sila naging inactive din because nagkulang din talaga ko sa follow up & focus sa kanila. But anyway, there’s always a second chance naman kay Lord diba. He’s the God of second chances, never ending chances.
I’m telling you guys. It’s not a pleasant place na magaganda yung houses & yung streets. I’ll describe it as parang desert pag summer, kasi sobrang maalikabok dahil lupa kasi sya eh, & feel na feel mo si haring araw. Pero pag rainy days, may baha & maputik. And then matrai2n kang magbalance dun. Literal na balancing because tutulay ka sa kapiranggot na kahoy or yung tapakan mo eh maliliit na bato lang & pag na out of balance ka, sorry. Lubog ka sa putik,hahaha! And then daming guys, I mean guys na “tambay” , mga drunk pa. Yung mga nakakatakot na mama, alam mo yun. Tapos lalapit pa sa inyo & then. Alam nyo na. Hahay!
Honestly, I hate it because pwede kong gawin after worship service is to go home na lang and rest after a tiring week sa work because actually parang yun na lang yung rest day ko.
But I love the Lord above all, and I should follow all of His instructions. Prayer life and reading God’s Word every day, incomplete parin because I still need to reach out sa mga unsaved people. I need to share God’s love for them. Para ma-experience din nila yung blessings na I’m enjoying because of Him. Like yung sa outreach namin, I learned to love na din yung mga youth dun that’s why I’m doing all of these. I’m already responsible for them.
Love=sacrifice. Like what Jesus did on the cross. So I must imitate Him thru these things. Sacrificing my comfort zones and my selfish desires just to please my Savior. Fulfilling naman pag nakita mo yung fruits na na-produce mo. Indescribable joy.
Pag nagpupunta kami dun sa outreach, lage akong dirty, extra tired, scared dahil dun sa mamang nakakatakot kasi lage siyang laseng, (hehe) broke (because sa expenses sa pamasahe), and then kasama talaga yung malulubog yung foot ko sa putik. But none of these things move me. I’ll still continue. I’ll still finish the race (because of God’s grace). BECAUSE I LOVE THOSE PEOPLE AND I LOVE THE LORD SO MUCH PERIOD.
This afternoon, after worship service, I went to our outreach, with my beloved anaks (I mean cellgroup, hehe) We visited there yung mga youth na nakaattend last summer youthcamp na currently inactive na. Iba yung naging feeling ko. I felt the burden. Because I admit it, fault ko din kung bakit sila naging inactive din because nagkulang din talaga ko sa follow up & focus sa kanila. But anyway, there’s always a second chance naman kay Lord diba. He’s the God of second chances, never ending chances.
I’m telling you guys. It’s not a pleasant place na magaganda yung houses & yung streets. I’ll describe it as parang desert pag summer, kasi sobrang maalikabok dahil lupa kasi sya eh, & feel na feel mo si haring araw. Pero pag rainy days, may baha & maputik. And then matrai2n kang magbalance dun. Literal na balancing because tutulay ka sa kapiranggot na kahoy or yung tapakan mo eh maliliit na bato lang & pag na out of balance ka, sorry. Lubog ka sa putik,hahaha! And then daming guys, I mean guys na “tambay” , mga drunk pa. Yung mga nakakatakot na mama, alam mo yun. Tapos lalapit pa sa inyo & then. Alam nyo na. Hahay!
Honestly, I hate it because pwede kong gawin after worship service is to go home na lang and rest after a tiring week sa work because actually parang yun na lang yung rest day ko.
But I love the Lord above all, and I should follow all of His instructions. Prayer life and reading God’s Word every day, incomplete parin because I still need to reach out sa mga unsaved people. I need to share God’s love for them. Para ma-experience din nila yung blessings na I’m enjoying because of Him. Like yung sa outreach namin, I learned to love na din yung mga youth dun that’s why I’m doing all of these. I’m already responsible for them.
Love=sacrifice. Like what Jesus did on the cross. So I must imitate Him thru these things. Sacrificing my comfort zones and my selfish desires just to please my Savior. Fulfilling naman pag nakita mo yung fruits na na-produce mo. Indescribable joy.
Pag nagpupunta kami dun sa outreach, lage akong dirty, extra tired, scared dahil dun sa mamang nakakatakot kasi lage siyang laseng, (hehe) broke (because sa expenses sa pamasahe), and then kasama talaga yung malulubog yung foot ko sa putik. But none of these things move me. I’ll still continue. I’ll still finish the race (because of God’s grace). BECAUSE I LOVE THOSE PEOPLE AND I LOVE THE LORD SO MUCH PERIOD.
daughter's loveletter
February 18, 2007
Dear God,
No words can express how grateful I am to have You as my Almighty Father; A very loving, forgiving, and a compassionate father. Many times I have disappointed You because I’m doing things on my own way. Many times I’m keeping You waiting every day. I’m always breaking my promises to You I’m always comparing myself to others instead of thanking You for what You have given me .I’m sorry if didn’t give You my time. If I’m busy doing things and forget to talk with You. I’m sorry father.
How many times have I broken Your heart? Maybe countless. But You’re still willing to forgive. To give Your beloved Son; To make perfect plans for my life; To get closer to me every day. To make me Your most valuable possession. You’re not resting until You find me. You never get tired of waiting for me. You never get tired of loving me.
Thank you father for choosing me to be Your child; For Your perfect love; For the great plans for my life. Thank You for being my Father. I love You with all my heart.
Your daughter,
Hannah
Dear God,
No words can express how grateful I am to have You as my Almighty Father; A very loving, forgiving, and a compassionate father. Many times I have disappointed You because I’m doing things on my own way. Many times I’m keeping You waiting every day. I’m always breaking my promises to You I’m always comparing myself to others instead of thanking You for what You have given me .I’m sorry if didn’t give You my time. If I’m busy doing things and forget to talk with You. I’m sorry father.
How many times have I broken Your heart? Maybe countless. But You’re still willing to forgive. To give Your beloved Son; To make perfect plans for my life; To get closer to me every day. To make me Your most valuable possession. You’re not resting until You find me. You never get tired of waiting for me. You never get tired of loving me.
Thank you father for choosing me to be Your child; For Your perfect love; For the great plans for my life. Thank You for being my Father. I love You with all my heart.
Your daughter,
Hannah
heart to heart
January 20, 2007
He said, you mean the whole world to him. Everything’s fine. He promised you that he’ll love you and be with you FOREVER. And then suddenly everything has changed. Uh-oh. He’s getting far from you bit by bit. Tsk, tsk. And then he’ll finally say to you, ”I think we’re not really for each other, maybe you’ll find someone who’s better than me. I think we should stop this relationship because I’m only hurting you. It’s over. I’m sorry. Goodbye.” Oh-no. And then tears start to fall from your eyes. You’ll cry as if the world weighs on your shoulders. Woohoo! What a breaking moment.
Not quite forever, as he promised.
No one would wanna experience that kind of thing. So I said to myself, it won’t happen to me. But it did (quite long time ago, hehe) I couldn’t explain what I really felt when my heart was broken. All I know is it was very sad, regretful.
But I’m still grateful. I realized that it was all part of God’s plan for me. To shape me. To strengthen me. To mold me. To show me many things. To teach me something. To get closer to Him. To let me know that God really loves me.
God taught me to entrust my whole life to Him. Even my love life. He showed me that if I follow my will, I will just end up crying. But if I obey His will, everything’s gonna be alright. The Lord knows best. If He were to put 10 men in front of me, and allow me to choose among them, I honestly don’t know whom to choose. I’ll let Him because He knows the perfect man for my life.
But for now it’s still a long journey for me. The Lord wants me to be fruitful first to my responsibilities. Ministry. Family. Work. And to get closer to the Lord of course.
I picture myself day by day, doing my responsibilities. Step by step. I’m getting closer to God. And then when I’m already prepared. He’ll unhide the perfect man from His back and say”he is the one Hannah I have created just for you.”
He said, you mean the whole world to him. Everything’s fine. He promised you that he’ll love you and be with you FOREVER. And then suddenly everything has changed. Uh-oh. He’s getting far from you bit by bit. Tsk, tsk. And then he’ll finally say to you, ”I think we’re not really for each other, maybe you’ll find someone who’s better than me. I think we should stop this relationship because I’m only hurting you. It’s over. I’m sorry. Goodbye.” Oh-no. And then tears start to fall from your eyes. You’ll cry as if the world weighs on your shoulders. Woohoo! What a breaking moment.
Not quite forever, as he promised.
No one would wanna experience that kind of thing. So I said to myself, it won’t happen to me. But it did (quite long time ago, hehe) I couldn’t explain what I really felt when my heart was broken. All I know is it was very sad, regretful.
But I’m still grateful. I realized that it was all part of God’s plan for me. To shape me. To strengthen me. To mold me. To show me many things. To teach me something. To get closer to Him. To let me know that God really loves me.
God taught me to entrust my whole life to Him. Even my love life. He showed me that if I follow my will, I will just end up crying. But if I obey His will, everything’s gonna be alright. The Lord knows best. If He were to put 10 men in front of me, and allow me to choose among them, I honestly don’t know whom to choose. I’ll let Him because He knows the perfect man for my life.
But for now it’s still a long journey for me. The Lord wants me to be fruitful first to my responsibilities. Ministry. Family. Work. And to get closer to the Lord of course.
I picture myself day by day, doing my responsibilities. Step by step. I’m getting closer to God. And then when I’m already prepared. He’ll unhide the perfect man from His back and say”he is the one Hannah I have created just for you.”
shaper of the stars
November 12, 2006
I’m so amazed at how God shaped and created those beautiful twinkling stars. As you watch them at night, it seems they brighten up the dark sky. It was really a masterpiece. Well, as God shaped those wonderful stars, I believe that He is also shaping me to what He wants me to be. Failures, challenges, disappointments, difficulties, frustrations. I know they are all part of God’s plan. Shaping or molding process is not that easy. We’ll surely experience hurts, not being contented & disappointed. But God knows what He has been doing to each one of us. All He wanted is the best and perfect plan in our lives. One of the things I’ve realized is that as the Lord shaped those wonderful twinkling stars in the sky. He’s more concerned of shaping my heart and my whole being for His perfect and incomparable plan for my life. Thanks for reading. God bless!
I’m so amazed at how God shaped and created those beautiful twinkling stars. As you watch them at night, it seems they brighten up the dark sky. It was really a masterpiece. Well, as God shaped those wonderful stars, I believe that He is also shaping me to what He wants me to be. Failures, challenges, disappointments, difficulties, frustrations. I know they are all part of God’s plan. Shaping or molding process is not that easy. We’ll surely experience hurts, not being contented & disappointed. But God knows what He has been doing to each one of us. All He wanted is the best and perfect plan in our lives. One of the things I’ve realized is that as the Lord shaped those wonderful twinkling stars in the sky. He’s more concerned of shaping my heart and my whole being for His perfect and incomparable plan for my life. Thanks for reading. God bless!
greater plans; bigger plans
October 24, 2006
Early this morning (4am), I got up from my bed. I checked on the internet. I searched for exam results. Shocks! That was the longest hour in my life. As I was scrolling down the list of successful CPA Board Passers, many things ran into my mind (oath taking, what I’m gonna wear during that occasion, thanksgiving celebration, good job=good compensation. Or otherwise, teary eyes, comforting words from my family and friends). Surnames that start with the letter AAAAA…..BBBBB….and then CCCCC. My name was not on the list. I felt that my world has just stopped for that moment. I started asking questions to myself. What about God has just told me these past few weeks? What does it mean? Then my mom held my hand, she asked me if I’m okay. She said that I should sleep again. As I was on my bed, tears ran into my eyes. I cried. But still thanking the Lord for everything. Well, I didn’t get instant answers to my questions. The Lord just let me felt that He has better and bigger plans for my life. As He said in His Word that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. In short, He knows what He has been doing to me right now. I felt like I’m really blessed, even though I didn’t make it to the board exam passers. It’s because of God, of course. Ever-loving and supporting family. And evercomforting friends. I’m thanking the people who prayed for me and those who also got nervous with me during examinations, hehe. I’m fine now. I failed this exam, but I still got Jesus in my heart. Godbless!
Early this morning (4am), I got up from my bed. I checked on the internet. I searched for exam results. Shocks! That was the longest hour in my life. As I was scrolling down the list of successful CPA Board Passers, many things ran into my mind (oath taking, what I’m gonna wear during that occasion, thanksgiving celebration, good job=good compensation. Or otherwise, teary eyes, comforting words from my family and friends). Surnames that start with the letter AAAAA…..BBBBB….and then CCCCC. My name was not on the list. I felt that my world has just stopped for that moment. I started asking questions to myself. What about God has just told me these past few weeks? What does it mean? Then my mom held my hand, she asked me if I’m okay. She said that I should sleep again. As I was on my bed, tears ran into my eyes. I cried. But still thanking the Lord for everything. Well, I didn’t get instant answers to my questions. The Lord just let me felt that He has better and bigger plans for my life. As He said in His Word that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. In short, He knows what He has been doing to me right now. I felt like I’m really blessed, even though I didn’t make it to the board exam passers. It’s because of God, of course. Ever-loving and supporting family. And evercomforting friends. I’m thanking the people who prayed for me and those who also got nervous with me during examinations, hehe. I’m fine now. I failed this exam, but I still got Jesus in my heart. Godbless!
best things in life
June 20, 2006
• seeing a rainbow; staring at the night sky
• sunrise; sunset
• waking up @ 5:30 in the morning and smell the morning breeze right at your window
• having a hot soup on a rainy day; drinking an ice cold water after an exhausting day
• classes suspended, haha!
• making people laugh at your corny jokes
• laughing until your cheeks hurt and a tear drops from your eye
• taking a nap after you cried very hard
• hugging your parents
• long conversations with your siblings and friends
• receiving mails/emails
• sharing a small pack of food with a bunch of friends
• taking pictures
• sitting beside the window in a long hour travel
• reading a love letter
• when your crush gives you a smile
• having a good hair day
• when you hear phrases like ‘I love you’ ‘I’m sorry’ ‘thank you’
• staring at the blue sea
• birthday surprises; Christmas season; valentine’s day
• singing until your throat aches; dancing until you sweat
• sneezing; yawning; burping
• spending money the whole day and yet you still have a couple of coins inside your pocket
• thinking of your future love story
• smiling at a stranger inside the church
• long talks with church mates
• singing worship songs until you cry
• having a father-daughter conversation with God
• hearing funny stories @ your pastor’s sermon, and everybody’s laughing
• reading bible stories
• knowing that Jesus cares, forgives, saves, heals, and loves you
According to 1Timothy 4:4 "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving…." The things that are happening in our lives everyday either good or bad, even if it’s the simplest and smallest thing, if we will only appreciate and thank God for it, we will find those things a blessing and you can say that those things were the best and perfect things in life!
• seeing a rainbow; staring at the night sky
• sunrise; sunset
• waking up @ 5:30 in the morning and smell the morning breeze right at your window
• having a hot soup on a rainy day; drinking an ice cold water after an exhausting day
• classes suspended, haha!
• making people laugh at your corny jokes
• laughing until your cheeks hurt and a tear drops from your eye
• taking a nap after you cried very hard
• hugging your parents
• long conversations with your siblings and friends
• receiving mails/emails
• sharing a small pack of food with a bunch of friends
• taking pictures
• sitting beside the window in a long hour travel
• reading a love letter
• when your crush gives you a smile
• having a good hair day
• when you hear phrases like ‘I love you’ ‘I’m sorry’ ‘thank you’
• staring at the blue sea
• birthday surprises; Christmas season; valentine’s day
• singing until your throat aches; dancing until you sweat
• sneezing; yawning; burping
• spending money the whole day and yet you still have a couple of coins inside your pocket
• thinking of your future love story
• smiling at a stranger inside the church
• long talks with church mates
• singing worship songs until you cry
• having a father-daughter conversation with God
• hearing funny stories @ your pastor’s sermon, and everybody’s laughing
• reading bible stories
• knowing that Jesus cares, forgives, saves, heals, and loves you
According to 1Timothy 4:4 "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving…." The things that are happening in our lives everyday either good or bad, even if it’s the simplest and smallest thing, if we will only appreciate and thank God for it, we will find those things a blessing and you can say that those things were the best and perfect things in life!
who's at the center?
June 16, 2006
For me it really matters, what are the things you put at the center of your life. Most of the time, I’m placing myself inside of it. Will ko lagi nasusunod regardless kung tama pa ba yun or mali na & alam nyo ba kung anong ngyayari? hayy..I always get insecured and intimidated..nafofocus lang ako sa sarili ko. In short, very selfish ang result. And then, I’ve also tried putting other things inside. Like yung studies ko. Well, na-pressure lang ako ng husto & nagkapimples lang ako, haha! And then I’ve also tried placing other people sa center ng buhay ko. Hayy..I only got disappointments and heartaches. tsk..tsk. But when I placed the Lord at the center of my heart and my life, naging clear lahat. Jesus at the center also means we’re putting our lives also at the center of His will. Our desires, our dreams, and our future. You can never go wrong, I assure you. Because the Lord knows us more than we knew ourselves. When we fix our eyes on God, we will always be contented and not insecure, confident and not intimidated, being under control and not under pressure, and beautiful and not having pimples, hehe. Nothing and no one can really replace a life that’s having JESUS AT THE CENTER. Thanks for reading. God bless!
For me it really matters, what are the things you put at the center of your life. Most of the time, I’m placing myself inside of it. Will ko lagi nasusunod regardless kung tama pa ba yun or mali na & alam nyo ba kung anong ngyayari? hayy..I always get insecured and intimidated..nafofocus lang ako sa sarili ko. In short, very selfish ang result. And then, I’ve also tried putting other things inside. Like yung studies ko. Well, na-pressure lang ako ng husto & nagkapimples lang ako, haha! And then I’ve also tried placing other people sa center ng buhay ko. Hayy..I only got disappointments and heartaches. tsk..tsk. But when I placed the Lord at the center of my heart and my life, naging clear lahat. Jesus at the center also means we’re putting our lives also at the center of His will. Our desires, our dreams, and our future. You can never go wrong, I assure you. Because the Lord knows us more than we knew ourselves. When we fix our eyes on God, we will always be contented and not insecure, confident and not intimidated, being under control and not under pressure, and beautiful and not having pimples, hehe. Nothing and no one can really replace a life that’s having JESUS AT THE CENTER. Thanks for reading. God bless!
it's a matter of OBEDIENCE
June 12, 2006
I can say na sa church na talaga ko nag-mature as a person in all aspects. My dad is a pastor, for a long time, I’ve seen many transitions na nagaganap within the church. But I’m always asking myself na parang ang bagal ng growth namin or even me personally, eventhough di nman nagkulang sa mga seminars, conferences, trainings, camp, etc. I can’t help but tumingin sa mga nangyayari. Bakit ganon, bakit siya, dapat ganito, kasi kung ganto lang sana. But the Lord revealed to me to begin the change within myself. That I should do my part. For a long period din akong naging ‘pasaway’ sa church namin, hehe. Eventhough always present ako sa mga youth camps, trainings, di ko naman nai-aapply sa real life. Until napansin ko na hindi na din ako nagmamature spiritually. Pero the Lord is very gracious, He didn’t allow me na hanggang dun na lang .Na pa-attend attend na lang tapos, tapos na. He didn’t allow me to be stagnant sa spiritual life ko. Until the Lord put into my heart to establish an open cell. From the time na sumunod ako sa move ni Lord, I stopped blaming my daddy, and other people sa mga nangyayari sa church namin. Basta all I know is when I’ll do my part, si Lord na bahala. Nung nagkaroon ako ng cellgroup, dun ko talaga na-feel yung move ni Lord sa life ko. Kaya pala noon, di ko nafeefeel yung growth ko spiritually, it’s because ang dami ko ng alam and hindi ko ma-impart sa ibang tao. Very fulfilling talaga when you follow God’s will for your life. IT’S A MATTER OF OBEDIENCE. Nakakasawa kayang maging stagnant spiritually and maging pasaway, haha! All we need to do is to flow kung anuman ung move ni Lord ngayon. Thanks for reading. God bless us all.
I can say na sa church na talaga ko nag-mature as a person in all aspects. My dad is a pastor, for a long time, I’ve seen many transitions na nagaganap within the church. But I’m always asking myself na parang ang bagal ng growth namin or even me personally, eventhough di nman nagkulang sa mga seminars, conferences, trainings, camp, etc. I can’t help but tumingin sa mga nangyayari. Bakit ganon, bakit siya, dapat ganito, kasi kung ganto lang sana. But the Lord revealed to me to begin the change within myself. That I should do my part. For a long period din akong naging ‘pasaway’ sa church namin, hehe. Eventhough always present ako sa mga youth camps, trainings, di ko naman nai-aapply sa real life. Until napansin ko na hindi na din ako nagmamature spiritually. Pero the Lord is very gracious, He didn’t allow me na hanggang dun na lang .Na pa-attend attend na lang tapos, tapos na. He didn’t allow me to be stagnant sa spiritual life ko. Until the Lord put into my heart to establish an open cell. From the time na sumunod ako sa move ni Lord, I stopped blaming my daddy, and other people sa mga nangyayari sa church namin. Basta all I know is when I’ll do my part, si Lord na bahala. Nung nagkaroon ako ng cellgroup, dun ko talaga na-feel yung move ni Lord sa life ko. Kaya pala noon, di ko nafeefeel yung growth ko spiritually, it’s because ang dami ko ng alam and hindi ko ma-impart sa ibang tao. Very fulfilling talaga when you follow God’s will for your life. IT’S A MATTER OF OBEDIENCE. Nakakasawa kayang maging stagnant spiritually and maging pasaway, haha! All we need to do is to flow kung anuman ung move ni Lord ngayon. Thanks for reading. God bless us all.
missing everyone
June 4, 2006
This day seems not that good for me. Parang everyone just popped into my mind and then namiss ko na agad lahat,haha! Very dramatic. I miss my highschool classmates, especially my friends. Joannie, Sheila, Sarah, Malou, Mong2, Rox, Pj, Kaye, Jv. Basta lahat. And namimiss ko din yung mga college classmates ko, especially yung mga friends ko din. Yung 3 Rachelles, Rona, Nesmie, Donna. And I also miss yung mga cellgroup ko. Yung 1st batch, sila Majo, Hazel, Jane, Caroline, and Anne. And then yung 2nd batch sina Grace, Karen, Osang and Cathy, included na dun yung mga friends ko. I also miss my superfriends sa church sila Eds, Grace M., and Micah, Rodelyn, Zandy, Hana, Grace V., Yung ibang mga taga north region. Namimiss ko na din yung 2 pamangkins ko. I also miss people na I can’t mention the name kasi issue yun eh, bwahaha! I miss all of these people so much because they are the ones who are with me all the time. Thank the Lord for bringing me people like them. Maybe my life has never been wonderful without them. Si Lord talaga, He will give you people who will really contribute to life’s excitements. I miss you guys sobra. God bless.
This day seems not that good for me. Parang everyone just popped into my mind and then namiss ko na agad lahat,haha! Very dramatic. I miss my highschool classmates, especially my friends. Joannie, Sheila, Sarah, Malou, Mong2, Rox, Pj, Kaye, Jv. Basta lahat. And namimiss ko din yung mga college classmates ko, especially yung mga friends ko din. Yung 3 Rachelles, Rona, Nesmie, Donna. And I also miss yung mga cellgroup ko. Yung 1st batch, sila Majo, Hazel, Jane, Caroline, and Anne. And then yung 2nd batch sina Grace, Karen, Osang and Cathy, included na dun yung mga friends ko. I also miss my superfriends sa church sila Eds, Grace M., and Micah, Rodelyn, Zandy, Hana, Grace V., Yung ibang mga taga north region. Namimiss ko na din yung 2 pamangkins ko. I also miss people na I can’t mention the name kasi issue yun eh, bwahaha! I miss all of these people so much because they are the ones who are with me all the time. Thank the Lord for bringing me people like them. Maybe my life has never been wonderful without them. Si Lord talaga, He will give you people who will really contribute to life’s excitements. I miss you guys sobra. God bless.
It's just 4 months away
May 29, 2006
I have just started my review class kanina. Hayy,na-feel ko agad ung pressure although it’s not like I’m a college student parin, kasi wala namang recitations, feasibility studies, departmental exams, etc. Yun nga lng, board exam yun, haha! Anyway, okay naman. Nagstart na din ako i-open and basahin ofcourse ung mga books na nag-vacation din, haha! Yup, it’s just 4 months away. Superduper bilis pa naman ng panahon ngayon. October ang board. So guys, I’m asking for your help again. Please do pray for me ha. It’s not easy to pass a CPA board exam. Only 20% ang successful. But i know the Lord is with me. He will make me more than conqueror. Amen! I just have to do my part. Ang magaral, pray, pray and pray! Thanks for reading. God bless us all.
I have just started my review class kanina. Hayy,na-feel ko agad ung pressure although it’s not like I’m a college student parin, kasi wala namang recitations, feasibility studies, departmental exams, etc. Yun nga lng, board exam yun, haha! Anyway, okay naman. Nagstart na din ako i-open and basahin ofcourse ung mga books na nag-vacation din, haha! Yup, it’s just 4 months away. Superduper bilis pa naman ng panahon ngayon. October ang board. So guys, I’m asking for your help again. Please do pray for me ha. It’s not easy to pass a CPA board exam. Only 20% ang successful. But i know the Lord is with me. He will make me more than conqueror. Amen! I just have to do my part. Ang magaral, pray, pray and pray! Thanks for reading. God bless us all.
what God wants
May 25, 2006
What God wants for us sometimes or most of the time doesn’t go hand in hand in our own will. Ang hirap sundin minsan,it really hurts, esp. when God wants you to let go of something. Like nakasanayan mo ng gawin na mga things,or nakaugalian mo na, or emotions, or a relationship na kelangan munang bitawan. It’s really hard to give God everything..But the Bible says that we should trust in Him with all our hearts, and we should acknowledge Him in everything we do..And then, everything’s gonna be alright. It’s not easy to do God’s will, but if you’re in the center of it, you know you’re safe. If we keep on holding things to ourselves, we might lose them all. But if we give God what’s in our hands, we might possess them forever. Thanks for reading again. God bless!
What God wants for us sometimes or most of the time doesn’t go hand in hand in our own will. Ang hirap sundin minsan,it really hurts, esp. when God wants you to let go of something. Like nakasanayan mo ng gawin na mga things,or nakaugalian mo na, or emotions, or a relationship na kelangan munang bitawan. It’s really hard to give God everything..But the Bible says that we should trust in Him with all our hearts, and we should acknowledge Him in everything we do..And then, everything’s gonna be alright. It’s not easy to do God’s will, but if you’re in the center of it, you know you’re safe. If we keep on holding things to ourselves, we might lose them all. But if we give God what’s in our hands, we might possess them forever. Thanks for reading again. God bless!
waiting
May 23, 2006
Honestly, I hate to wait. For example you’re on a line, tapos parang slow motion yung galaw nung line tapos may sisingit pa. Hayy. Kainis talaga yung mga ganung situation. Practical things lang yun , super annoying na, how much more sa real life na. Waiting for me is not really a fun part of our lives. Nakakainip kaya. The best example is when you’re waiting for your true love. Sa sobrang tagal, parang gusto mo na gumawa sa sarili mong way, but according to God’s Word, Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, says God, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I know the Lord knows what He’s been doing to us. So we just have to wait and trust His timetable. It’s not easy to wait, but the moment you reached kung anuman ang iniintay mo, you’ll forget you’ve waited. Thanks for reading. Godbless! Be patient, choose to wait!
Honestly, I hate to wait. For example you’re on a line, tapos parang slow motion yung galaw nung line tapos may sisingit pa. Hayy. Kainis talaga yung mga ganung situation. Practical things lang yun , super annoying na, how much more sa real life na. Waiting for me is not really a fun part of our lives. Nakakainip kaya. The best example is when you’re waiting for your true love. Sa sobrang tagal, parang gusto mo na gumawa sa sarili mong way, but according to God’s Word, Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, says God, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I know the Lord knows what He’s been doing to us. So we just have to wait and trust His timetable. It’s not easy to wait, but the moment you reached kung anuman ang iniintay mo, you’ll forget you’ve waited. Thanks for reading. Godbless! Be patient, choose to wait!
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